You Can Live in your Car, But You Can't Drive your House.

In honor of the family ritual of the Thanksgiving get-together, I thought I'd share stuff my family says.

1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle. 
2. Forgive your enemy but remember the bastard's name.
3. Help people when they are in trouble, and they will remember you when they're in trouble again.
4. Alcohol does not solve any problems. But then again, neither does milk.
5. You can live in your car but you can't drive your house.
6. If you can't say yes, you must say no.
7. When you're right, you're right.
8. Allowance is ridiculous; it's a privilege you get to live here.
9. I'm not paying for college; you'll thank me later when you've paid for it yourself.
10. Life and luggage. Pack light. If you can't carry it yourself, don't bring it.
11. Always be the youngest one waiting on everyone else.
12. Pass the turkey and leave your attitude.
13. Card names: Bullet, duce, tres, nickel, boxcar, pump handle, frog eye, niner, miles of railroad, j-hook, lady, cowboy
14. You can pick your boogers, but you can't pick your family.

Happy Thanksgiving!