Single on Valentine’s Day? 7 ways to love yourself more

Valentine’s day can be a reminder for single people that you are alone, it can bring up feelings of loneliness and fear, and wondering if you are good enough. Acknowledge your feelings because they are important. Then, gently refocus on the relationship with yourself.

Even though Valentine's Day has been traditionally about romantic love, Valentine's day can be about love in general. When you are trying to find love sometimes there is tendency to focus on the future partner that you are trying to create in your life. Rather than focusing on the person that you are, and the person you are becoming. 

The one relationship that you will always have is with yourself. What would it look like to invest and give love to yourself?  Invest in a beautiful journal that is dedicated to you. Journaling can be powerful tool for self discovery and self reflection. These practices that I am going to share with you are great ways to begin.

 In your journal you can include:

Your positive qualities and what make you unique: Even if today, you can only write 3 qualities that you like about yourself, just begin where you are; no judgments. Sometimes it will take 30 entries before you are able to genuinely list a handful of your positive qualities.  

Indulge in something you love to do Often people will say I love going to the movies, sporting events, or for walks, but delay doing these things until their partner arrives. I challenge you to do it anyways. You don’t have to wait until your partner shows up to live your life.

Celebrate other aspects of your life: Give gratitude to the things in your life that are going well, the things that are proud of, and celebrate the love that you already receive from your families, friends, pets mentors, coworkers and/or great career.

 Discover your authentic self:  There are many layers to you, start to unravel some of those layers and be more of who you are. Perhaps, it is doing more activities that bring you happiness, speaking up more for yourself, or discovering a repressed part of yourself. For example, if you are creative you can begin an art class. Asking what feels most authentic to me? Listen and respect what you hear.

Appreciate being single: This is an opportunity to get to know yourself better and develop a deeper relationship with yourself.  Or appreciate that being single is an opportunity to do some healing work or maybe it’s an opportunity to get clear about what you want and value in relationships.

Learn to love your faults, quirks and imperfections: We all have them, its part of being human, the challenge is to develop a self compassionate mindset when noticing what they are, For example, “I get in my head and can’t stop thinking, but I am lovable anyways” “ I keep making the same mistake over and over again, but I am lovable any ways” “ I feel the struggle today, but I love myself anyways”

Add mementos, favorite picture or memory that you have: This is a great way to get inspired and be creative with journaling. Add things that you feel good about either a fun memory, inspiring quote and/or an accomplishment. This is chance to bask in those good feelings and appreciate yourself!

One of the biggest challenges we all face is how to have more self compassion and love for ourselves. The more you get to know yourself, the clearer you become about what you are looking for in a partner. This is the most powerful work because this creates the foundation for your future relationship. However, don’t just do it to get the relationship, rather do it as an act of self love and self compassion.

Take one or two of these ideas listed here to get started creating this journal about you. It’s an opportunity to celebrate your uniqueness and the gifts you bring to world. It is reminding yourself that love starts with you. This journal exercise can be an ongoing ritual or practice that you can do as a form of self love and developing a relationship with yourself.