Sharp
‘If the blade is not kept sharp and bright, the law of rust will assert its claim.’ (Orison Swett Marden)
‘Clients value moments when a (coach) listens in a way that allows them to know that they are being heard, shares a relevant reflection, or asks a question that makes it possible to see an issue from a different perspective. By contrast, the hope that (coaching) might make a positive difference may be terminally undermined by selective or inattentive listening, awkward or self-serving personal disclosures or interrogative lines of questioning.’ (Julia & John McLeod, The Significance of Being Skilful, Therapy Today, BACP, November 2022).
Writing in the context of counselling and therapeutic practice (which I have taken the liberty of re-applying to coaching here), McLeod and McLeod comment that practitioners often associate skills practice with training at the start of their career, rather than with an on-going development journey throughout their career. Many of the skills themselves are common to ordinary human relationships. ‘(Coaching) skills can be understood as comprising the application of generic interpersonal and communication skills for a specific purpose.’
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It's as if an effective coach takes normal skills, hones them to a very high standard, then applies them intentionally and in a focused way to enable change with-for a client. A challenge lays in how to do this well, with wisdom and discernment, given that there are so many dynamically-complex factors in a client relationship and context that can fundamentally influence what the client will experience as beneficial. ‘The implementation of a skill in a real-life situation requires a capacity to improvise in response to what is happening in the moment.’
This is where on-going critical reflection and development is so important, perhaps with a supervisor or mentor or in an action learning set. ‘By creating opportunities for revisiting deeply ingrained ways of relating to others, the process of developing (coaching) skills can be both emotionally challenging and life-enhancing…(including) a capacity to maintain skilful and responsive contact with clients in situations of emotional pressure, such as the client becoming demanding, angry with the (coach) or withdrawn.’ I agree. So – how do you stay sharp?
Retired Psychologist, 2024.
2yNick, You couldn’t be more right! As a psychologist in private practice for 40 years, applying Therapeutic Life Coaching to a wide range of presenting problems , I have seen countless clients with similar problems, and it would be easy to stop seeing each client as unique, and begin to think of them as another toxic marriage, another depressed or anxious person. When you begin to be in automatic pilot in your sessions, often thinking of other things, the therapy/coaching process usually begins to feel boring. Over the years I’ve seen any number of clinicians feel “burned out“, and begin to wonder how long until they will be able to quit. I love the coaching as much today as I did 40+ years ago. Each session is a unique spiritual experience. Each client is precious to God and deserves a full lantern light to experience and grow through the learning process. The Lantern is a loving, nurturing light that shows respectfully in all directions. It shines a non judgmental light of accuracy both inside and out, generating a desire to learn and grow. There are no double standards with a lantern. It helps them build their own inner coach.