I am not a rebel!

A few years back a gang of children came knocking at my door complaining that my daughter Big M is a bully and is refusing to listen to them. This instantly brought out the Mama bear in me and my first instinct was to protect my child. I'll be honest, I really did not like hearing the word bully! I took a few seconds to regain my composure as it was equally important to lend an ear to those children who were just simply expressing how they felt about a situation.

Later that evening, as any concerned parent I asked Big M what exactly happened.

Big M : “ Mama, they were playing a game and wanted me to play a role which I did not like, so I just said No!”

Me : “I am very proud of you for standing up for how you feel!”

On further probing I realised that they wanted her to play a more gender specific role in the game, while for her another role was more appealing.

Big M with bigger tears in her eyes : “Why is that Mama every time I don't follow the rules made by someone else I am termed as a Bully!”

Ouch! My heart shattered into a million pieces and this incident took me way back into my childhood when I was often termed as a rebel just because I did not fit into the personal norms of individuals. How many times have you heard the statement - “This is not normal!”. Our first instinct as humans is to put people in boxes and assign labels to them. If someone challenges the status quo too often or does not like to remain within the boundaries created by the society, without thinking we label them as a rebel. This labelling powers the unconscious biases within us and we start seeing that person only through that lens! 

With a big smile on my face I grabbed Big M by her shoulders, looked into her teary eyes and said: “You are not a rebel, You are not a bully, You are a pioneer of change!”

Unconscious biases creep into our systems as early as our foundational years. Unknowingly we expect the younger generation to abide by a set of rules that we have been blindly following for years to come. When someone challenges that, our first reaction is to condemn them as being disrespectful and being out of control.

It even more critical now to create an environment for these young buds to fearlessly express themselves as they are not bound to the chains of biases and, are able to look at things from a more wholesome lens compared to the adults.

It’s time to banish labels! Being the odd one out does not make you a rebel, it makes your voice unique! Your voice matters! Let's make it count!

Have you felt judged in your personal life or workplace when you did something out of the norm? Would love to hear your stories!

#unconsciousbias #equalityforall #freedomofspeech #rebels #bullying #labels #children