Authentically You—By Design, By Default, or Default-by-Design? (Revisited) 🤔✨

Two months ago, I shared a post that sparked rich and meaningful conversations about authenticity in professional life. As this newsletter continues to grow—welcome to all of you who’ve joined recently!—I wanted to revisit that piece here and offer a few fresh reflections. If you missed the original post, you can read it here.

Let’s return to a powerful question: How can we show up—by design, by default, or default-by-design? 🤔✨

For years, I believed success meant being who others wanted me to be. That approach helped me achieve many of my professional goals—but at a significant personal cost.

The Early Years of Adaptation

🌱 “Showing up by design” meant adapting to others’ expectations—a process I called “flexing,” widely embraced as a professional strength

🌱 “By default” felt unprofessional or unintentional—as though being truly authentic risked being off-brand

🌱 So I tailored myself to match others’ definitions of “professionalism,” relegating my authentic self to the realm of “personal life”

It worked very well... externally.

The Toll

🌱 Outward success masked a growing inner sense of loss

🌱 I felt emotionally drained and disconnected from my true self

🌱 Praise and recognition weren’t for me—but for the lighter alter-egos I had carefully constructed

A Pivotal Shift

Then came a startlingly simple realization: What if intentionality and authenticity could work together? 🤔

That question led me to the idea of default-by-design—being fully authentic while intentionally aligning with my values, purpose, and goals, without creating any alter-egos.

In a meeting with a CEO, I chose to drop my invincibility façade and share my personal story—how I transformed fear into hope. That moment of vulnerability sparked a deep connection, and the relationship blossomed into years of meaningful work.

A New Anchor

This approach became my compass:

🔑 Grounding me in my core values

🔑 Helping me recognize rejection not as failure, but as misalignment

🔑 Enabling deeper, more transformative professional relationships

Now, authenticity isn’t a compromise—it’s my strategy by design.

A Fresh Reflection

Since writing the original post, I’ve coached several leaders through this exact terrain. Many shared that embracing default-by-design gave them both the language and the permission to navigate high-stakes environments more humanely—and more effectively, in alignment with their core values and leadership aspirations.

How about you?

🔹 When have you balanced authenticity with professional expectations?

🔹 What does “default-by-design” look like in your leadership or life?

Please share your insights, stories and aspirations below!👇

#Authenticity #PersonalBranding #ProfessionalGrowth #Leadership #SelfExpression #ProfessionalAuthenticity #ExecutiveCoaching