SOMETIMES GOOD FEEDBACK HURTS

I was recently fortunate enough to receive some honest and useful feedback. The first piece of feedback concerned a slang phrase I sometimes use. The second focused on everyone’s favorite mascot, Danny the Devil Duck (for the uninitiated, this is a cute little red bathtub duck with tiny black devil horns). In both cases I unintentionally offended someone – and they were kind enough to let me know.

Feedback incident #1 – I was in class a few years back, teaching a graduate course to a wonderful group. At some point during our discussion I used the phrase “drinking the Kool-Aid.” As you know, this expression grew out of the horrific events perpetrated by Jim Jones, culminating in the death of many innocents. Since that time, the expression has entered popular consciousness and is commonly use as a silly statement about whether or not someone likes or accepts something in an unquestioning manner. I honestly don’t know what I was referring to that evening when I used the phrase. What I do know is the next day I received an email from a student who was quite offended by my callous use of such an inappropriate phrase. He honestly felt that I could be somehow making light of what happened at Jonestown.

For the record, I try to respect all religions and abhor aberrant religious nightmares such as Jonestown. Having said that, I’m not terribly politically correct and feel using the statement “drinking the Kool-Aid” is peachy keen. The student was one of my favorites: a mature accomplished professional who takes his studies seriously and who always makes positive contributions in class. Whether I like it or not, this person had a visceral reaction to my choice of words. I needed to know that this perception existed, and was possibly shared by other students. I thanked him for sharing his thoughts.

Feedback incident #2 – A few years ago, I sent out a marketing promotion to a small group of executives at firms where I have yet to do business. I sent a nicely printed note containing a message about what I do, along with a brief personal hand written note to each individual recipient, and one red Danny the Devil Duck rubber toy. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed having Danny as my mascot and have received many positive comments about my use of Danny professionally. That does not change the fact that when you craft a brand and it successfully appeals to one group, it will not necessarily appeal to another group. In fact, it might offend them. Just ask Hugh Hefner.

In this case, I received an email from one of the executives I targeted at a large well-known global company. The executive congratulated me for crafting an attention getting marketing piece and then explained how, as a Christian, she was bothered by my use of Danny the Devil Duck. She indicated that Satan was real, ruins lives, and that any representation of him is not to be taken lightly. She suggested I use a fireman duck instead. She indicated that even if she had a need for what I was selling, she would not have contacted me due to my use of the devil duck. It was an honest and heartfelt note and I genuinely thanked her in my reply.

I am deeply intrigued by these issues, in particular because my goal is to educate, motivate, and entertain professionals – not intentionally irritate them. I am not yet ready to begin changing my brand or to begin intentionally censoring myself in some calculated effort to avoid upsetting a few folks. I do, however, love to learn and I am grateful for this type of feedback. As professionals, we have to get past our own view of self and strive to understand how others view us. That means you have to be open to feedback when it is offered and, occasionally, you have to proactively seek it out. Some of it will hurt, so what – listen anyway. You might not agree, but you’re certain to learn something useful.