Why are our headlines supporting women in the workplace but our data is not?

A post popped up in my feed today that featured a husband celebrating his wife's return to the workforce after a 20 year gap and that excitedly sent me on a deep dive for data that I hoped would support her returning to a more equal, female positive professional world than the one she exited. Unfortunately, that is not what I found.

While the wage gap is closing, we are still missing the mark by far. Missing it by 16% in middle management and senior positions. When looking at the top 1%, the income requirements aren't even equal to be considered an elite. A man's income needs to be $370,000 but a woman's only needs to be $234,910. Even with a lower requirement, woman supported households only make up 1 of every 20 elite households. Female dominated industries such as hospitality, education, customer service, and administration continuously trend at almost equal wages but are also all considered low to middle class salaries.

It's widely known that women are more likely to take a career hiatus after marriage or birth compared to that of our male counterparts. 17% more likely actually. Additionally, 42% of women will experience a career interruption to care for a family member compared to 28% of men. Only 74% of those women will return to work, only 40% will return to fulltime jobs.

Aside from worrying about a rusty skill set or fear that they are no longer current on industry developments, what factors might discourage women's return to work? Some may not find it makes financial sense to return to work. Women's earning potential after taking a 3 year gap is reduced by 37% on average. Read that again. 37% reduction in what a woman, not just a mother, can make if they leave the workforce for 3 years regardless of the reason. If you are a mother, the $10,000-20,000 annual cost of childcare might make this a deal breaker if you have another employed parent. A discouraging reduction in an initial salary coupled with starting at ground level again often make it fiscally impossible to return, especially if a new, low salary have negative tax implications on the household. It's worth mentioning that a 37% reduction of wages will impact her ability to sufficiently save for retirement, contribute to social security earnings, and afford reasonable healthcare. Are women only being penalized when they have to step away to focus on their families? Nope! A recent study by UMass shows that a woman's earning dropped by 4% per child she raises even if there is no employment gap, while a man's earning increases by 6% per child he has..

Disappointingly, raising children wasn't the only event heavily hindering a woman's career. There is an equally concerning disconnect between the effects of marriage on both genders careers, as well as the impact each partners careers have on a marriage.

Studies show that on average, married women make $25,300 less each year than married men. Married women are more likely than married men to relocate and leave jobs to support a career change or growth for their partner. Women who have higher salaries can typically expect to experience a reduction in their salary after relocation, while men do not experience the same adjustment. On average, married men make more than single men. In fact, married men have a higher chance of being in the nation's top 1% of earners compared to single men.

Married women are 3 times more likely than married men to get divorced after a promotion. This number sky rockets if she reaches a C-level position or has a career in politics. Whereas the opposite happens for men. Their risk of divorce declines. Various polls indicate that when a married man's career graduates to high earning or high level, he is more likely to start/grow his family and encourage his partner to leave their career. The same polls report an adverse reaction from married women who report a greater hesitation to make changes in their personal life while experiencing career growth.

Although studies show that over 30% of wives are making more than their husbands, women contributing 60% or more of their household income are also at higher risk of divorce than that of men contributing 60% or more. Compare this to current studies being conducted that engage non-heterosexual couples and you will see a significantly smaller gap.

Does having children affect your career? Your lifetime earning potential? Your credibility in the workplace? Absolutely. Is the impact justified? Absolutely not. In many ways choosing to have a family negatively impacts both genders, but there is a resounding prejudice towards women in heterosexual relationships from the professional world and often from their spouses. Unsurprising is the clear advantage for men which is seemingly influenced by antiquated views and biases established at a time when women weren't considered societal equals.

As a mother who was largely single during the first 10 years of her son's life, taking years off was never an option. I started out earning very little and needed to work incredibly hard with virtually no reward. I am now at a place where I am comfortable and have the luxury of getting to do something I genuinely enjoy with companies I believe in. But it's really unfortunate to think that all the hard work, long days, and sacrifices I have made could be all erased because I want to grow my family. Parents in the workplace are vastly undervalued and grossly underestimated. Sure, we may need an unexpected day off because our kid puked on the way to school but the ability to prioritize, multi-task, absorb large amounts of information quickly, ability to encourage and collaborate, think creatively, and project manage are often greatly improved by being a parent. I know that's the case for me. I don't think there is anything more motivating and driving than the need and want to provide for your child.

One piece of promising data I did find was that these numbers are shifting in younger generations. Millennials may not be as quick to marry as their preceding generations, but the respect for and support of each person's career in both marriages and long term relationships is proving to be much more equal than any generation before. Gender roles in relationships are being retired as more generations rise up and it's quantifiably and positively improving women's careers. There are more men stepping up to be the primary caregiver of their children or at least share the burden of time away from work to care give. There is a rise in the use of maid services at a younger age. There are multiple indicators that younger couples are making attempts to lessen the burden bared at home in order to support both partners' goals. Efforts that previous generations were largely lacking.

In a world that concern's itself with a record low birth rate attributed to a focus on careers, we should be aggressively addressing the challenges faced by professional parents. For the first time, data is showing us that new and informed professionals are disrupting the trends. It is showing us that we have to continue conscious efforts and action oriented strides towards a more inclusive and equal workforce and society. Society drives industry, industry drives society. Our emerging generations are not conforming and instead helping to shape a society that calls out and corrects these systemic issues. My hope is with the introduction of new work perks such as childcare allowances, paid parental bonding leave, and required annual week long vacations for employees that I'll be writing a very different article in 15 years.