Why cheese should be your best friend and 6 more networking tips

“I’ve never really been to a networking event so I’m not sure if I like it or what I’m supposed to do”

“I do like the vibe of these sort of ‘networking opportunities’ but I must admit I find them extremely intimidating. When I’m surrounded by powerful, influential and successful people I lose faith in myself and start to self-doubt. I know it should be the other way around, but it scares me. I know I should go and put myself out there, maybe it gets easier with time”

The stories above come from chats with my friends when talking about The Hive and our upcoming networking events. They are not alone. Chances are that you also cringe at the thought of a networking event.

Most people agree that Netflix wins over an evening out with strangers any day. Guilty!

Yet, we’ve been told that we should be going to these “networking events” to have some kind of meaningful conversations (or something) to help advance our careers and be ‘visible out there’ (whatever that means).

So, what can you do to make yourself feel less awkward and actually enjoy the night? Plenty, to tell the truth.

I’m taking the opportunity to summarise some of the tips and strategies I use myself, to ensure I go to an event and leave feeling it was worth missing an evening of Netflix.

First. The basics:

1.     Find the food

It’s true. If I arrive at an event I don’t know anyone, I head straight to the food (if I do know someone there, I make sure they come to the food with me!). Not only because the event is probably straight after work and I’m starving, but also because it keeps me busy. Everyone needs to eat and hanging out by the food is a great opportunity to make yourself comfortable and start a chat with another hungry participant. Simply say hi to whoever comes up next to you as you’re slowly filling up your plate. Not sure what to talk about? Talk about the cheese!

2.     Sip it slowly

Unless you need to down a glass to calm yourself (gal’s gotta do what a gal gotta do so no judgment here!) it is good to grab a glass to keep your hand occupied.

If I don’t have that glass I tend to cross my arms. However, crossed arms puts you in defence mode and it looks like you’re ready for an argument – the opposite of a casual chat. But with a drink in one hand and food in the other, I physically can’t cross my arms and voila, problem solved! Ps. You’ll need a table nearby or else you can’t eat at the same time…

3.    Embrace your inner Beyoncé

Body language not only impacts other people but yourself too! When feeling uncomfortable we tend to cross our arms, cover our chest/stomach and cross our legs. This actually influences how we perceive ourselves and ultimately, we make ourselves feel less confident. Not good! Put one hand on your hip, open your chest and force yourself to stand grounded. Think Superwoman and why not embrace your inner Beyoncé? She does it all the time!! Whether you believe it or not, you will actually trick your mind into feeling more confident!

Next. Create meaningful conversations:

4.     Ask questions

So, you’re standing at the food and you’ve started chatting about that ‘heavenly’ cheese and $1 Woolies crackers, now what? Start asking question you are genuinely interested in hearing the answers to. Most people are happy to talk and are probably like yourself, thanking you for asking the questions and have someone to talk to. Acknowledge that you don’t know anyone! It’s ok. You are in the same boat. Ask why they are here, how they heard about the event, do they know anyone (if they do, you can both say hi to that person and you will all of a sudden know one more person at the event! Great!!) ask what they are hoping to get out of the event, and then perhaps start asking where they work.

5.     Listen and find a connection

A meaningful conversation comes out of shared interests and learnings. You can only find this out if you listen to what is actually said.

Maybe the person you are chatting to is interested in the same things as you? If not, maybe you have a friend who shares those interests? Connect over things you share and elaborate on those points. That way you are both enjoying the conversation.

6.     How can you help them?

I enjoy leaving an event if I feel like I’ve contributed to making that night worthwhile for someone else. You should too! In conversation with people and when finding connections, think about how you can support them in their journey. Maybe you know someone who they should know and meet? Perhaps there is an event coming up you think could be of value for them? It’s not about selling something (or yourself!), it’s about genuine support. Help a sista out and karma will come your way.

7.     Scrap your business cards

Look, unless someone actually wants your business card, don’t bother. Aim to create a meaningful conversation. It’s not about the number of people you meet, it’s all about the connection you make with the ones you speak to.

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Finally.

Finns can be in a sauna with strangers, naked, and chat. So why wouldn’t we be able to have a conversation fully clothed in a room full of people we have so much in common with?  

Practice makes perfect.

Don’t take yourself too seriously and have some fun!

Join The Hive - a collective run by women for women

We are on a mission to create a supportive and inclusive collective, to connect, mentor and learn practical career advice and solutions from already successful women in business. We are chatty, friendly and most importantly, we like to have a fun time hanging out with people like yourself. Worried about the word 'networking'? Don't be! Let's meet at the cheese. Bring a friend, enjoy the vibe, have a snack and feel inspired. Practice makes perfect :)

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