What we can all get behind...

We wonder why our brilliant demonstrations of expertise fall on deaf algorithms, but selfies and water cooler talk reach the masses. The answer, perhaps, is simpler than we’re willing to admit. To reach a person you must connect with their experience. A good story is part of the process, but even it only works when it connects with the audience’s own story. Expertise is a specialty. Stories about expertise will only connect with other experts. The rest of the world will pass by with at most a curious glance.

Common experiences have reach because they reach inside us. Take coffee for example. Almost everyone has some opinion on coffee.  Even those who never have had a sip have that as an interesting tidbit to share. It exists worldwide and with most social groups. It’s approachable by all – people who need the caffeine and just take what’s available to connoisseurs who can tell you how many calcium tablets to put in distilled water to make the perfect brew. It has sophisticated gadgets and techniques or can be made in a metal pot on a fire and served in a Styrofoam cup.

When we talk with others about something so simple, and yet so rich, as coffee, we find a common language. Even more, we find a shared experience. Make a small mistake in the morning? Just say “haven’t had my coffee yet” and we’ll all shrug, laugh, and empathize. We all have stories about discovering, avoiding, or tolerating the beverage. When we share them, others see themselves in those same stories, through their own experiences. This happens at a level our professional specialties just can’t reach, despite our best efforts.

Master story tellers have a way of taking their topics and reaching into our own shared vocabulary. Metaphors and analogies are a step in this direction but can quickly run out of steam (see what I did there?). It’s another level of talent to break a specialty down into the common stories we all share. What’s remarkable about this is most people have the basics of life in common. Our day, from waking to bed, is filled with activities every other person would recognize in their own life. And, of course, each person has many moments between appearing foreign or even arcane to our own routine.

Instead of reaching out with superiority and shouted expertise, we should find our message rooted in the basics. Food, water, shelter, sleep, love, loss, excitement, passion, purpose, and, of course, coffee (or tea). The power of a handshake is self-expressed. We don’t say “I hope this handshake finds you well.” Instead, we greet each other through touch, a literal shared connection, and in this moment, begin a shared story. Whatever is said next instantly is rooted in the other person’s own experience. If you keep the spark alive, the conversation can remain energized indefinitely.

This is also why a great ice breaker question is “what are you excited about?” instead of the all too American “What do you do?” I’m far more likely to be excited about something you’re also excited about. When you share your excitement, it’s rooted in all the moments I have been in as well. Answering “What do you do?” instead is a treacherous path. You might do something boring – and you might even think so too. If that’s the beginning of the conversation, we aren’t surprised when it ends early and forgettable. Here’s a quick fix if someone does ask you “What do you do?” Answer with “I help others by…” Now you have at least rooted your response in purpose, another shared interest.

By finding connections through commonality, we can build interest in what we have to say. From there we can build trust. Trust is the foundation for more in-depth conversations, and there we can take more chances on what we share. When others trust us to not waste their time, they’ll give us more moments to listen to what we want to share. Until then, there’s no way to know if the conversation is about to be dragged in a direction we want to escape instead of engage. All communication is done in layers, so it’s critical we take the steps to build those layers in the right order. Common connection, trust, then depth will work far more often than anything else.

These ideas apply here on social media just as much as at an in-person event. We blame the algorithm, but it just mimics us. If it fed things people didn’t want to see, we’d go away. Instead, it gives us what we keep looking for, even when we won’t admit it. By sharing your own stories using a shared vocabulary and our collective experiences, you can find a way to be unique but also be relatable. And by doing so, find you have far more reach than if you merely stood behind the ivory podium and spoke to the empty room.

Upcoming Events

On the topic of ice breakers and sharing things you're excited about...

The next Nearshore Cyber and Mirability, LLC Cybersecurity Community Event is this week! It's on Wednesday, April 23rd, from 6-8pm, at From the Earth Brewing Company in Roswell (just off 400 on Holcomb Bridge Road).

It's open to all interested in supporting or learning more about our Atlanta cybersecurity community. I hope to see you there! It's free to attend (self-pay for food and beverage).

More events?

We're always looking for more Atlantaa area technology related events. Check out the calendar, see what's coming up, and then share any you see are missing!

Week In Review

Back to the grind, whether work or coffee, this week was full of things to do and things to talk about. Check out the conversations below:

• Coffee Time!
• ATP's Rooftop Social
• Will you come out on April 23rd?
• AI can accelerate my efforts, but it can't multiply me...
• The surest way to find broken glass is to walk barefoot through the kitchen.
• I packed some ambitious goals for spring break last week.

There's time to vote in the polls and join in the conversation!

In Conclusion

ATL Tech Events continues to add more events, but we need you to help find them! Please share the ones you know about if they're not on the calendar!

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I hope this coming week is what you need it to be!

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About Erik

Erik Boemanns is a technology executive and lawyer. His background covers many aspects of technology, from infrastructure to software development. He combines this with a "second career" as a lawyer into a world of cybersecurity, governance, risk, compliance, and privacy (GRC-P). His time in a variety of companies, industries, and careers brings a unique perspective on leadership, helping, technology problem solving and implementing compliance.

He's available to help you with any of this now too!