Visible, yet unseen

One day, two hospitals and two different medical situations for two members of my family: One acute, A & E admission, (now thankfully home) and the other a longer-term outpatient appointment. Both members saw specialists in their fields, received care, with outcomes no doubt achieved and ticked off on various administration systems. In this way they were visible, countable, accounted for. Yet, my overriding feeling was that, despite a 'job' being completed, neither of my family members were really seen.

Seen here in is in the sense of known, understood, and valued as a fellow human. Seen as in that space where empathy flows in both directions and both parties are fully able to be themselves. No, my family members were not seen as fellow humans. Their visibility was purely objectified; a problem to be analysed, discussed and solved.

This is testament to a two-tier care system. One that processes problems, the other that is compassionate in its care. My question is, how often do we see this latter side of care? It's there occasionally in cups of tea, in the understanding for being late due to traffic, but it's rare, and even rarer the higher you go up hierarchical machine of specialisms. All the care is somehow often squeezed out as people ascend to the 'top' of their professions. These lofty vantage points where actual humanising care is all too often just a distant training memory.

All now finally home, my family and I immerse ourselves in the care that we can give to each other in the safety of our own space: Love and understanding, space and time to offer ideas, listen and jointly work through what might work. We do the care that is needed for wellbeing, not just being physically well. Away from the medical machine, this is where compassionate medical care holds firm, where people are not just visible, but seen as people and where wellness and wellbeing become whole.