Staying True and Authentic Under Pressure

In my early days as a leader, I followed the example set by my bosses—they were yellers, and I thought that was the norm. 

One day, I yelled at my team, and it was a disaster. I hadn’t taken the time to understand what kind of leader I wanted to be. I was trying to be the leader I thought I was supposed to be, and it backfired horribly.

If I had been self-aware, I would have handled it differently. Instead of yelling and hurting my team, I could have protected them from my boss’s anger. I would have analyzed the situation, collaborated with my team, and devised a better solution. I could have been their shield and worked alongside them instead of mimicking my boss’s harsh tactics.

“FEELINGS WEREN’T ISSUED TO US”

In the military, we joke that “you can’t hurt my feelings because feelings were never issued to us,” but this experience taught me that there is room for empathy and self-awareness even in the military.

That experience was a wake-up call. It was so dramatic and shocking that I knew I never wanted to be that person again. I faced the reality of my actions and vowed to change.

I knew I wanted to be a different kind of leader. A leader who empathizes and understands and makes people feel seen and heard, not degraded and inferior. 

In my next position, I had an exceptional mentor who helped me look inward. He forced me to figure out what I was good at and how I could lead better. (And we were on a tiny island, so there was no escaping his guidance).

He quizzed me on different scenarios, providing a sounding board and practice before I had to give an order. He’d ask, “Does that feel right to you?” instead of “Is it right?” That subtle difference made me more reflective and self-aware.

He encouraged me to speak to my team on a personal level instead of just barking orders. I found that this approach resonated much better with them. They responded positively when I communicated with empathy and understanding.

Maintaining authenticity as a leader, especially under pressure, is challenging but essential. I learned that I had to stand strong in my power. By staying true to myself and the principles I developed through self-awareness, I led teams of up to eighteen hundred people using empathy. 

Leaders can be different and challenge the status quo. Leaders find followers when they discover their authentic leadership style and use it to achieve greatness.

Are you leading within your strengths?