Standing Together: A Simple Guide to Beating Bullies

Jenny, a cheerful girl from Germany, loved her new international school in Malaysia. It was bright, busy, and full of accents from every corner of the world. Yet even here, bullying could sneak in. One global study says almost one‑third of students have been bullied in the past month (UNESCO 19). That number is a wake‑up call for every parent and teacher.

When Teddy Crossed the Line

During recess, Jenny saw Zara from Ukraine standing by the lockers. Teddy, an American boy with a loud voice and even louder hair, was in her face. First he mocked Zara’s accent. Then he grabbed her favourite sticker book and declared a “sticker tax”: “If you want my shiny stickers, give me two of yours!” The threat felt silly, but Zara’s eyes filled with tears.

Last week Teddy had flooded the class chat with voice notes boasting he had “the best stickers ever.” He also called Zara’s lunch “foreign junk.” Yesterday he dragged chairs to build a small “border wall” around her desk so she could not join the craft table. These schoolyard stunts reminded Jenny of grown‑ups quarrelling over trade and walls, but now it was happening right here.

Teddy’s taunts turned rough. He pushed Zara against the lockers. Research warns us that bullying often moves from words to hits; name‑calling is the most common form, but physical shoves come next (NCES 4).

Many kids froze. Studies show about 80 percent of bullying happens with other students watching (Craig et al. 10). Sadly, only 20–30 percent of bystanders step in (Salmivalli & Voeten 15). Jenny and her Chinese friend Yao Ming decided they would be that 20 percent.

Method 1: Stand Together

Jenny marched over. Yao stood beside her. “Stop that,” Jenny said, voice shaking but clear. With two friends in front of him, Teddy backed off. When even one peer intervenes, bullying often stops within 10 seconds (Craig et al. 13). Zara felt the weight lift instantly.

Why it works

Bullies pick on kids who seem alone. Standing in a pair or group evens the power. Teachers can practise “team response” in role‑plays so children learn to move as a unit.

Method 2: Speak Up — Be Calm, Be Firm

Yao faced Teddy. “We don’t treat friends like that. Give the stickers back,” he said, steady and polite. He did not insult Teddy. He did not shout. This is called assertive speaking. Psychologists note that calm, firm words reduce the chance of a fight and still set a clear boundary.

Zara, still shaky, copied Yao’s stance. Her voice was small but sure: “I want my stickers back.” Bullies look for fear. Seeing courage, even a small dose, often makes them drop their act.

Why it works

Kids who learn simple “STOP” scripts feel safer. One review found assertiveness training cut repeat bullying by about 17 percent (Williford et al. 22).

Method 3: Seek Adult Help Fast

As soon as Teddy stormed off, the trio told Mr Rahman, the PE teacher. Many children never report bullying; over half keep silent (NCES 5). Yet schools that track reports see bullying fall by around 20 percent after a year (Gaffney et al. 22).

Mr Rahman took them to Principal Mrs Devi. She listened, praised the upstanders, and called Teddy’s parents. The school counsellor, Ms Leong, met everyone the next day. She explained that kids who suffer long‑term bullying are three times more likely to feel left out and twice as likely to skip school (UNESCO 20). More worrying, victims are several times more likely to think of self‑harm (Kim & Leventhal 24). Those numbers made even Teddy look pale.

A Plan Moving Forward

Ms Leong set clear steps:

1. Teddy would apologise, attend counselling, and earn back trust.
2. Zara would check in weekly with her form teacher.
3. The class would practise role‑plays on standing together, speaking up, and seeking help.

She also added a cyber‑safety lesson; more than half of teens have faced online bullying (Patchin & Hinduja 6).

The Result

A week later, Zara walked into class with a light bruise but a bright smile. Jenny and Yao shared their craft scissors with her. Teddy kept quiet, serving his suspension. The class felt different—kinder, alert, ready.

Parents at pickup time chatted about the incident. They agreed: these three simple moves—stand together, speak up, get help—work. Best of all, any child can learn them.

Quick Checklist for Adults

Practise “triangle defence”: two friends step in together.

Teach a short, calm script: “That’s not okay. Please stop.”

Make reporting easy—drop‑boxes, QR codes, open‑door talks.

With these tools, children can turn fear into friendship—and every school, whether in Kuala Lumpur or Kota Kinabalu, becomes safer for all.

Works Cited (MLA)

Craig, Wendy, et al. “Naturalistic Observations of Peer Interventions in Bullying.” Social Development, vol. 10, no. 4, 2001, pp. 512‑27.

Gaffney, Hilary, et al. “What Works in Anti‑Bullying Programs? Analysis of Effective Program Components.” Journal of School Psychology, vol. 85, 2021, pp. 37‑56.

Kim, Young‑Shin, and Bennett Leventhal. “Bullying and Suicide: A Review.” International Journal of Adolescent Medicine and Health, vol. 20, no. 2, 2008, pp. 133‑54.

National Center for Education Statistics. Student Reports of Bullying: Results from the 2019 School Crime Supplement to the NCVS. U.S. Dept. of Education, 2022.

Patchin, Justin W., and Sameer Hinduja. “2023 Cyberbullying Data.” Cyberbullying Research Center, 2024.

Salmivalli, Christina, and Maria Voeten. “Connections between Attitudes, Group Norms, and Behaviours Associated with Bullying in Schools.” International Journal of Behavioural Development, vol. 28, no. 3, 2004, pp. 246‑58.

UNESCO. Behind the Numbers: Ending School Violence and Bullying. UNESCO, 2019.

Williford, Anne, et al. “Effects of Bystander‑Focused Bullying Prevention on Schoolwide Bystanding Behaviour.” Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, vol. 53, 2017, pp. 27‑40.