Standing out as an Introvert

Have you ever pretended not to speak English when approached in a bar?

Have you ever entered a party or a social event with a firm exit strategy, in addition to two backup plans?

Or sign up for a networking event, convinced that this time when the event rolls around you'll be more charming, confident, and taller but end up canceling on the day so you can rewatch seasons 1-3 of Friends while eating a frozen pizza on your couch?

I HAVE! And no, I am not shy, I am not socially awkward, and I do not have social anxiety (maybe a little).

I AM JUST AN INTROVERT!

However, all the above terms that I mentioned are always associated with being an introvert.

Growing up, I always had a few friends. I didn't like going out unless it was with those few. I loved spending time alone without getting bored or being sad. I know I sound like a loner and not very surprisingly the people around me also made me feel that this isn't normal.

I noticed that despite scoring well in exams, I was invisible to my teachers because I was the quiet one. Parents, relatives, and neighbors would stress the fact that I should mingle more, make more friends, and go out more. Sometimes, it made me feel inadequate, as if I was not enough.

But as the famous Marilyn Monroe said, "Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are."

Statistically speaking at least 40% of the world population are introverts. But the world has a pattern of rewarding the extroverts. Loud opinions are often applauded and soft-spoken ones are left unheard. It is sometimes difficult for introverts to put forward their point in the chaos and noise around them.

I read about personality types, and behaviors and came across Susan Cain's book called 'QUIET'. She said in her book, "Solitude matters, and to some it is the air that they breathe."

This line connected with me on many levels. I decided that I had to accept my personality type and work with my qualities.

The truth is there is nothing wrong with being an introvert or an extrovert but, the perception built around different personality types. Introverts prefer smaller groups to large crowds. We drain our energy and find socializing with strangers over-stimulating. On the other hand, extroverts gain energy in such gatherings. They prefer to be the center of attention.

Think about this, if it is rude to walk up to an extrovert and ask them to shut up, then how is it ok to ask an introvert to speak up?

We have so many notable personalities, whose notability exudes from their personality characteristic of being an introvert. Albert Einstein, Bill Gates, Meryl Streep, Gandhi, to name a few.

Today, I understand myself much better. I've learned that small talk doesn't interest me. I prefer having few friends and connecting deeply with them. I've learned to leverage what I have. I may not share my thoughts or put forward my opinion before a large crowd, but I may be better at doing that on an individual or a one-on-one level. After a long day at work, I prefer spending time alone with my journal. I will go out and socialize at regular intervals but I don't let it control my existence and take a timely break from it. This gives me the mental capacity to face the next day.

So yes I am an Introvert.

I am not shy. I am a noticer.

I am not stuck up. I am a thinker.

I am not anti-social. I am an observer.

I am not boring. I am an artist, a lover, a dreamer, a fighter a seeker.

And as the famous Gandhi said, 'In a gentle way we can shake the world.'