No Shrinking

Today marked my final session with my sponsor at work. As we reached the conclusion of the call, my sponsor said two words to me that encapsulated my experience with him. For context, we’d spent our time together giving joint feedback about the progress we’d made, what we’d both collectively learned from each other and what we could consider for the future for similar engagements. As I expressed my appreciation to him, I closed with an ask that we could keep the relationship going. While doing so, unconsciously I’d began to contort my body in my chair seemingly making myself smaller. He graciously responded that of course we could keep the relationship going but, not without first telling me: “No Shrinking!” 

Automatically a light bulb went off in my head that this was the lesson I’d learned over the last twelve months with him. “No shrinking” as it related to:

• Establishing boundaries and setting priorities for better work/life balance 
• Honoring the gifts and talents I possess and putting those on display for others to learn more about my capabilities
• Advocating and seeking out opportunities aligned with my career goals
• Being my authentic self 

Establishing boundaries and setting priorities for better work/life balance 

One of the first things my sponsor shared with me that was mind blowing was how he approached PTO. Despite his high-ranking title in the company, he is resolute that his PTO is his time and he doesn’t work during. He instilled in me that if he was able to go off the grid for weeks at a time, that I certainly could do the same. It felt REVOLUTIONARY to hear this because I started my career in a culture (and a time) when it felt like the only way you could permissibly be excused from not answering emails during vacation was when you were out of the country. “Dare I attempt to set these boundaries?” I asked myself last October… I dipped my toe in the water for a weekend trip. Then, I did it for a week for another vacation. Fast forward to the last two weeks where I was out of the office for a total of nine days and made it clear that I was unreachable and held everyone to not hearing from me and also not checking in. With his guidance, I’ve learned to be more firm about the boundaries I need to do my best work and also to be okay when the end result of something isn’t ideal because I’ve prioritized health (mental and physical) over work. The change has been helpful not only for me, but for others. I’m leading by example and contributing to the desired culture so many people want. 

Honoring the gifts and talents I possess and putting those on display for others to learn more about my capabilities

A sponsor’s main role is to help advocate for the person under their tutelage usually when they're not around but it those recommendations and advocacy has to be rooted in understanding that person’s capabilities. Very early on, we discussed my strengths and over time, he and I discussed, collaborated on projects and I shared updates to demonstrate my abilities. We discussed how metaphorically his job was to be able to ‘advertise’ my abilities and thus our back-and-forth communication and my actual execution played a big role in helping him do so. I enjoyed the projects that we worked together, and at times his support empowered me to dig in deeper than I may have normally done in a cross-functional environment.

But, the interesting thing that happened is, as I began to communicate more with him, I also recognized I couldn’t just rely on him to be my sole messenger.

I found other ways to demonstrate my love and expertise for writing (such as starting this series) and to elevate my projects at work. Recognition hasn’t been my motivation for any of these activities, however, in taking the time to reflect or write, I’ve also become more aware of my contributions and talents. And as humbly as I can say this, I’m really really good at what I do. I have talents I’ve kept or allowed to be hidden because I naturally defer and attempt to allow others an opportunity to grow and develop. I’m learning that behavior doesn’t serve me or anyone else when I play it small (shrink). 

Advocating and seeking out opportunities aligned with my career goals

Simultaneously, as I began to reflect on my strengths we of course delved into conversations about what my career objectives are. I’ll admit I first approached the conversation with a narrow focus and he politely gave me feedback and encouraged me to truly think about me - not just the company or my team. That unlocked my mind to reconsider my work, my north star and where I want to contribute. I’ve surprised myself in how I could be intentional about pursuing opportunities beyond my day-to-day. I self-nominated myself to give a presentation to a group of my social impact peers and then when I was selected (which was a shock!!) I then gave that presentation and got incredible feedback and learned a lot in the process. I’ve always been a mission-driven person and the last six months, I’ve engaged in conversations to help me better understand if my work needs to align with my purpose or whether I need to work that gives me time to dedicate time to my purpose. And while I haven’t made a definite conclusion yet, things get clearer every day. 

LaMecia presenting at the 2022 American Express Leadership Academy Global Alumni Summit in May.         

Being my authentic self 

In some ways, I still have the teenage perception of myself that I don’t always “fit in with the crowd.” If you’re looking at a checkbox of qualifications, some people may find that hard to believe but as a first-generation individual, I can tell you that more often than not in graduate school, in corporate America, and sometimes even among my peers, I just feel my perspective is so different from others. However, through writing these pieces every month, I’ve learned there’s a bigger shared community I have than I originally accounted for and I’m even more excited to share more of my life if it helps others. My experience is unique and only by living my truth every day and helping others live theirs will I feel I’ve done right by myself and others. I appreciate my sponsor for being open to hearing my experience and giving me space to share but also giving me counsel that nurtured my desire to be a leader with my natural qualities. 

To all of you reading, I hope you also take his advice to heart. I know I have.

“No Shrinking.” Stand tall and strong. Be you. You are exactly who we need.