On "Revising the Goal"

I planned to run a marathon for the first time this upcoming October 19.

I’ve been running regularly, employed the expertise of a coach, and staying (90%) to the training plan.

Yesterday, while on a long training run, I made a new decision.

No marathon for me (yet)!

But, I don’t feel defeated.

I’ll be running a half-marathon instead. This decision came with full clarity and no shame about the “downgrade”.

In the past, I may have judged myself or beat myself up for ‘failing’ to accomplish the ‘bigger’ aim of a marathon— but now, I see it all as part of the journey. This adjustment, just two weeks before the race, feels right and still allows me to keep pushing myself. I’m adjusting training with the help of my running coach and other awesome supporters, and can set a longer-term vision that will allow me to let me competitive spirit shine through in the eventual marathon, as well as at the October 19 race in the half-marathon category.

This personal experience has me thinking about how we create harmony between challenging and pushing ourselves and also being smart (and I’m not talking S.M.A.R.T.) in our goal-setting. What do you think of this recipe for that harmony?:

(Ambitious enough to vision) + (Confident enough to revise) = Harmony of Challenge & Contentment.

Being “Ambitious enough to vision” means: Allowing ourselves to see Big Things. Taking the time and energy to imagine what we might like to accomplish, where we might like to be, what milestones would feel truly in line with who we want to be, is a skill for those of us who get to touch greatness. “Big things” is different for all of us, but the bravery to imagine is a universal requirement. When we don’t allow ourselves to vision things for ourselves— promotions, athletic achievements, lifestyle goals— we may convince ourselves we’re being ‘reasonable’ but in actually, we’re creating discomfort— the discomfort of not tapping into what we’re capable of and of standing still. We’re not meant to stand still, and sooner or later this lack of visioning will catch up with us by way of restlessness, feelings of lack, and self-deprecation. But, how do we create a healthy ambition without becoming goal-obsessed and swinging to the other side of restlessness/never being satisfied? Enter: confidence to revise.

Being “Confident enough to revise” means: Not tying our personal identity up in the achievement of any goal. My identity isn’t tied to running 42 km on October 19, but in being an overall athlete and badass who is consistently growing. This is a spacious vision, with room for continuous improvement and is the attitude which allowed me to consider a marathon in the first place. An added benefit of the spaciousness of this self-identity is that when something doesn’t happen on the timeline I’ve initially set, I am not dragged down with negative energy of self-judgement. This confident vision in myself as a high-performer doesn’t rest on a checklist of accomplishments or a trophy, it’s simply and fundamentally in the way I carry myself and talk to myself. My worth isn’t in a list of achievements— instead, I find my confidence in consistent evolution and willingness to hold the initial vision while also seeing every day with new eyes. What does being an athlete and badass mean to me this week? This year? This decade? The decision I made yesterday to not run the marathon is still a part of that vision— someone who can make sensible choices about my athletics and train smart. I can hold my vision of myself as a high performer, without being so rigid to never allow the answers to those questions to change.

What will being ambitious enough to vision and confident enough to revise mean for your own goal-setting and bold life?

If this strikes a chord, be sure to check out further writing I’ve done on the idea of: Robust Goals.