Putting yourself first ≄ being selfish

There is a huge difference between putting yourself first, and being selfish.

Prioritizing yourself means focusing on your own wellbeing, managing your energy (and your sanity!) so that you can give the best to others, without losing or harming yourself.

You've surely heard: “a fountain has to be full in order to provide water” or “put your oxygen mask on first, before you help others”. That's what this is all about.

So why does it matter to prioritize your wellbeing, especially as a working mother? 

Again, it is anything but selfish. Caring for your mental health can be the first step towards culture change at home, in the workplace, and for society at large. 

Think this is a stretch? Let me paint a picture for you.

When #workingmoms prioritize themselves, their health and wellbeing are much higher on their priority list. They experience working motherhood according to their own individual definition of success, free from societal pressure. Because they become better at speaking up and setting boundaries, home responsibilities are split more equitably between caregivers. Both can now dedicate as much energy as they decide to their families and their careers, making for happier parents and professionals.

This in turn helps transform workplace culture. Flexible work is taken advantage of, and inclusive company benefits and policies are in place to accommodate for parenthood. It becomes common to see parents organizing their work to fit their family responsibilities and it becomes normal, if not encouraged, to talk about parenthood at work. Women are no longer overlooked for promotions and no longer suffer from the motherhood penalty. They can have fulfilling, ambitious careers, whether they have children or not. Men also benefit from workplace culture being more inclusive. It is normal for them to take longer parental leaves, also resulting in a more equitable distribution of childcare responsibilities. 

Healthier mothers means healthier children, for whom the risk of developing depression and anxiety when reaching adulthood is significantly lowered. More inclusivity in the workplace means more examples of successful working mothers, therefore more women participating in the workforce, again, on their own terms. It means more exposure to healthy models of gender equality for future generations, creating, in turn, the right foundation for a more equitable society.

How enticing does that sound?