Negotiate the Relationship

At the heart of life beats the relationship - Rob.B Lowe

In my own journey, I have always appreciated the need to nurture relationships and as an immature fixed mindset, I had not given this the depth of understanding that it truly requires. With experience, research and consistent practice, I have graduated to a more mature mindset that produces deeper insight and perspective - and in this post, I take a look at some points about the relationship that could assist you to deepen your thinking, appreciation, and commitment to the relationships in your life. I feel the following applies for YOU in any and every part of your life - close personal, business, parenting, sports, family, friends etc.

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Short Explanations

1. Bring Thinking Together - often in a relationship, there is a perception that one side needs to influence the other and as a result of this thinking is not brought together it is dominated by the stronger thinker and communicator. If you know you hold this role in a relationship dynamic then YOU MUST shift your thinking to leading the relationship with the primary intention of bringing the thoughts together with your skills, not just dominating with your own.
2. Logical Communication - presenting your position in terms of principles that can be easily communicated and this is as much about the content as it is the language and methods of delivery. A helpful tip for YOU is to ask questions and listen first to be able to shape the language that will best serve the relationship.
3. Patience to Evolve - of all the things I mentor/coach/teach people about I find this one to be the most challenging for many people. The perception we have created as a society that life gets faster causes us to believe and behave in a way that matches this. This can be highly detrimental to a relationship. Your relationships MUST appreciate the principle of evolution and be permitted to develop naturally. Anything that is forced is fabricated and will result in an artificial relationship that soon will be out of flavour and fashion.
4. Meeting People Where They're At - reminding you that every person you meet has traveled their own unique path creating their own unique set of experiences and thoughts about life. Be courteous to find out where this is and begin the relationship there. Attempting to begin from where you believe they should be is certain poison to the longevity and prosperity of the relationship.
5. Good Judgement - not every person is a person whom you will strike a relationship with, so how do you know who is and who is not - use your judgement. Your judgement is the collection of experience and knowledge you have collected - including the experience gathered from previous "bad" judgements. A simple reminder you are not judging the person, you are judging the value of creating and sustaining the relationship.
6. Persistence to Hold Space - if you quickly re-read #1,3&4 above they are the preceding and supporting understandings that will permit you to know when and how to "hold space" for the other person. This is made of helping them be accountable for their part in the relationship and also understanding that part of your role will be to provide the space and the environment to allow them to grow to where you would like to see the relationship move to.
7. Natural Energy and Stamina - yes, relationships require work, commitment, persistence, love etc. You cannot be lazy and create long lasting profitable and meaningful relationships. If you are not going to put in the effort then you should not begin as you are not showing much respect for the other person(s).
8. Personal Interest - all time favourite as this fuels the essence of a great trust-based relationship and that is high-level rapport. The only TRUE path to high-level rapport is understanding that the relationship is never about YOU - it is always about how you will raise up the other person. You can only find this level if you take a personal interest - you need to find out what is driving their WHY in life.
9. Time Appreciation - it is likely that the relationship will draw from the past, affect the present and the near future and set the tone for the far future. With this in mind when establishing the relationship having a broad perspective of time will create a more rewarding and prosperous relationship.
10. Flexible Mindset - have you ever known a relationship to develop exactly as you perceived it would? Most likely not yet some of YOU will get locked into a path of creating a relationship this way and ultimately reach a point of frustration when the relationship does not develop exactly as you were forecasting it to do. The solution is to be flexible and I have trained my mindset to accept there is never any expectation from a relationship. Everything becomes a surprise and surely YOU all like surprises. Taking on the mindset requires you to have a state of readiness that will serve you to react congruently in the face of everything that arises.
11. Courage to Face Risk - all relationships require an investment of your emotional capital and you are placing this investment in the minds/hands of the person you are building the relationship with. Without the courage to face the risk of your investment not being reciprocated, you may miss many relationships which indeed could have proven to be your most prosperous.
12. Emotional Response - the course of life is set by the way each of YOU chooses to respond emotionally to the things that happen around YOU. Go back and quickly re-read #5 as judgement has a significant impact on the timing, the level and the type of emotional response you give. A misjudgement of emotional response could be seen as death to your relationship, but if you act swiftly with grace and integrity showing that you are fallible you also may have created for the relationship the strongest bonding point.

Thanks for reading - connect and/or message me if you need more.

BE PRESENT IN LIFE!

Rob.B Lowe