Messaging ≠ Manipulation: A PM’s Guide to Speaking with Integrity

As product managers, we are often told to “manage optics.” Translate that however you like: storytelling, framing, spinning, influencing.

Over the years, I’ve seen “messaging” & "optics" used as a polite euphemism for spin. How do we make this sound better? How do we position this so it doesn’t alarm leadership? How do we keep the team “motivated” while quietly walking them into a 3-month grind?

But messaging isn’t a cover up. It’s a mirror. It is not a way to disguise intent. It is a way to reveal clarity.

And if you find yourself spending more energy on shaping the message than shaping the decision, pause. Not for effect. But for a better question.

Not: How can I say this better? But: Why did we do this in the first place?

Because the message is the consequence of intention. And intention, my dear Watson, is where the work begins.

The Polished-Turd Check. 

When tempted to polish a turd (pardon the imagery, but every PM knows the aroma), ask these simple questions:

Is my intention constructive?
Is this message rooted in clarity, usefulness, learning? Or is it coming from fear, ego, inertia?

If my intention is negative, don’t reach for better words.
Reach for a better question.        

Negative intent is often a clue. A breadcrumb. Follow it. And you’ll find that the story you’re telling needs to be rewritten: not just rephrased. Good messaging doesn’t require good spin. It requires clear intent.

So the next time you’re rewriting a status update twelve times, or coaching an PM on “how to say it,” stop. Ask the harder question.

I once (ok, many times, similarly) tried to soften the blow of a dependency miss and a feature delay by framing the update inside a bigger, shinier narrative: how the overall impact is going to be better. It was subtle, almost convincing. But something smelled off. 

Something triggered me to run the Polished Turd Check.

Went back, rewrote the message, this time without burying the lead. The new version admitted the delay, explained the dependency miss, and laid out the revised priorities. 

And guess what? It landed better. Leadership appreciated the clarity. The honesty made it easier to align.        

Maybe the message is fine. Maybe the feature was wrong. Maybe the optics are fuzzy because the lens is cracked. Maybe, just maybe, I need to build better, not talk better.

Product leadership isn’t just about controlling the narrative. It’s about aligning it with something worth telling.

So the next time you’re asked to “clean up the message” or “polish the narrative”, try this:

1. Name the intent. What are we really trying to do?
2. If it feels off, dig deeper. Is there a better problem worth solving?
3. Message the truth, not just the tactic. People can smell spin. They respect sincerity.

I remind myself of doing this by remembering Guru Arjan's message "Garibi Gada Hamari" (Humility is my spiked club). Humbly tell the truth. Truth isn’t weakness. It’s your most strategic asset. Shape the why. Then the words will find their way. Be not a spin doctor, be a meaning-maker.