Making the best of a tough situation

I don’t normally write about my personal life but I feel the lesson learned had such an amazingly positive impact that I feel compelled to share… so here goes!

In July of this year (2021), my daughter who had just turned 17 drove to Myrtle Beach, SC by herself to spend a few days with her boyfriend’s family; she absolutely loves the beach. This was the farthest she had ever driven by herself and of course I was a bit apprehensive. But she has always done well at school, has had a job for over a year now and is simply an overall great kid. So this dad is learning to let his baby bird fly a bit farther from the nest. On the evening of her return, not 20 minutes into her drive she gets into an accident! Without going into all the details, the car was not drivable but she was completely fine other than the emotional toll of the event. So the car had to stay and I had to drive 6-7 hours round-trip to bring her home. Now, that is the back-story. Here comes the important part!

Her mother and I pay for her car and insurance (I know, she is very lucky) and she pays for everything else. This accident meant there would be a $1,000 deductible to be paid as well as towing for her car, etc. After some careful consideration, I felt it was very important for her to take full ownership of this as it would be a great learning moment on just how expensive all this stuff is. But after a couple nights “sleeping on it”, I came up with (what I thought) was an even BETTER plan! And this is what I would like to share with all of you.

Instead of having her simply pay for these incidental costs, I gave her another option. I will remember that Wednesday night forever. I said “P (short for Peyton), you have to pay your mother and I back for the deductible… or <insert dramatic pause> you can choose a charity that you would like to support and raise money for them. For every dollar you raise, we will match it towards your deductible. Raise $500 for the charity, and we’ll pay the fist $500 of your deductible and you have to pay the remaining $500. Raise over $1,000 and your mother and I will pay your deductible. Got it? Those are your two options”. Now I can’t really describe the facial expressions I received or the eye-rolling, but I can tell you what she said after thinking it over for about 60 seconds, “can’t I just pay the money?”. I then told her to sleep on it and to make a decision within a few days.

What happened the very next day was a bit of a surprise and what came of it will forever amaze me. The prior year my daughter had lost a very close friend to a drug overdose. So she chose a charity that focuses on drug awareness in middle and high schools called Natural High. To raise money for them, she worked with a popular wrist band company and designed a product that would let her tell Will’s story. She built a website (you can read Will’s story there!), worked with a vendor to design a one-of-a-kind product and promoted it. Over the next six weeks, she sold hundreds of bands and raised a total of $3,658.61!!! Goes without saying that I am a very proud dad!

But the lessons learned through that time were far more than just about being responsible for what happens to you (which was my default response to hold my daughter responsible for the costs related to the accident)… but can we go beyond and find a way to bring some good from a bad situation? I know it can’t be done for every situation, but I feel so often we look for the easiest way out; as my daughter did initially by just wanting to pay the money. The path she took was much harder and took longer. Through this process she learned many new skills and may have actually stumbled upon what she really may want to study in college (sales & marketing, I guess this apple may not fall far from this tree 😉).

The good she made of the situation was amazing and we will never really know how many lives she may have positively impacted. But if it is even just one… it was worth it! And I think we really did make the best of a tough situation.

#pushbeyond #gofurther #turnlemonsintolemonade #proudparent #dadsmatter #dadlife

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To Will… we all miss you. I want to thank you for being such a great friend to my daughter. I am doing my best to help her make the best of losing a great friend. I hope we are making you proud and I look forward to seeing you again one day; I have a very big hug to give you.