Lessons from Life: What a Pill Container Reminded Me About Leading Change

We all know this - Change is messy.

You know those moments when life reminds you of what you already know but somehow forget when it’s happening in real-time?

That happened to me recently with my mom’s medication routine. And, candidly? it’s a reminder I need.

Because I know better. But even I got caught up in thinking I could roll out a change, check the box, and call it a win.

I’ve led change efforts in the corporate world for years—but there is something about your family that pushes all the buttons and triggers all the triggers...and I was ill-prepared despite my "years in corporate" for trying to make changes to my mom's routine.

It all started with a well-intentioned effort to help her with her meds.

My sister and I decided to "standardize the process" (yes - you read that right) —new pill containers, a shiny new “system.”

Of course, we thought it was genius.

Efficient.

A total improvement.

Ok - in fairness - I also resisted, because I don't color inside the lines well. But after kicking and screaming and having a hissy fit I got on board for the greater good to get mom on a more consistent medication routine.

Why? Because the outcome is king - the outcome is her safety and she can't afford to miss her meds.

What's the motivation? She has memory challenges and we're seeing more and more problems and we're stepping in more and more to support in the important places

(SIDEBAR: being an adult care-giver for parents with memory issues is is hard - if you are doing this and need to chat about it, DM me, I've got some really good resources)

But here’s where we dropped the ball: we didn’t ask my mom how she already did it (not that it would make sense to anyone but her anyway). We didn’t consider what was already working for her. We didn't honor her existing process. Like in Cloud implemenations the "To Be" doesn't really matter. We just imposed our new plan without understanding what was going on behind the scenes.

Cue the blinking. Silence. Then complaints.

12 Hours later? Already a missed dose.

Three days later? Completely off the rails.

Two weeks in, we're getting better, at least taking medsfrom the correct time period, but from the wrong days...what?!? How is that possible - Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday - its clearly marked...it's in order...except...well...memory glitches.... <sigh...take a breath>

The new process isn’t working exactly as planned, but there are some nuggets of wisdom here as reminders.

1. Just Because You’re Talking Doesn’t Mean You’re Communicating

We told my mom about the new system. We showed her how to use it. But we didn't check to she if she actually understood it. (OK -In fairness, I knew she didn't and approached it as an "agile" approach and that we'd address the issues as they came up, knoweing we have some memory stuff going on.)

But how often do we do the same at work? We roll out changes, give the directive, and assume people understand.

But here’s the reality: information is only useful when it’s understood. Don’t just tell people—engage them. Listen. Ask questions. Make sure they’re on the same page.

Pro Tip: Regularly check in and ask for feedback. Real communication is a two-way street, and silence doesn’t mean agreement. Head nodding doesn't mean they understand. It just means they are acknowleding you are speaking

2. Resistance Isn’t Always What You Think

When the new system didn’t work, my first thought was, “Mom’s resisting this.” But then I realized—it wasn’t resistance. It was confusion.

This happens at work all the time. Resistance isn’t always defiance. It could be discomfort with the unfamiliar, or a sign that we didn’t communicate things clearly enough.

Pro Tip: Before you label behavior as resistance, dig deeper. Are they unclear? Is there a skill gap? Or have we just missed the mark on how to communicate the change?

3. Change Needs Real-Time Adjustments

You know when you plan for something to go perfectly, and it immediately falls apart? Yeah, that. The new pill container system lasted less than 12 hours before things went haywire.

In the corporate world, we often think of change as a one-and-done deal. But here’s the thing: change needs real-time adjustments. When it’s not working, course-correct quickly. It’s not about sticking to a rigid plan; it’s about being agile enough to pivot when things go south.

Pro Tip: Build feedback loops into your change process. Make adjustments as you go to ensure the outcome is actually achieved, not just the activity.

4. Emotions Are Data—Don’t Ignore Them

Let’s be real: when change goes wrong, emotions run high. My mom’s frustration wasn’t about the pill container. It's about a loss of control and independence and the fear of what's happening with her memory.

And my sister and I? We were frustrated, too—because we're trying to do the right thing, but it isn't working perfectly right away and the fear of what happens if she doesn't have her medication.

Emotions are real. And they matter. When people resist, it’s not always about the process; it’s about how they feel about it. And you can’t just ignore those feelings—they’re data.

They're afraid for their job. They were an expert yesterday and today they woke up just like everyone else. They spent 15 years to get to where they are and now they feel like they are starting over. The hit to there confidence can be devastating. But the fear for what it could mean to their job security, especially in this soft economy can be debilitating and overwhelming.

Pro Tip: Acknowledge the emotions involved in the change process. Validating those feelings can clear the air and lead to better outcomes.

Final Takeaway: Keep Your Eyes on the Outcome, Not the Activity

Our goal wasn’t a perfect pill system—it was making sure my mom took her meds safely. Similarly, in the workplace, the goal isn’t just to finish the change process. It’s to improve something, to make something better, to make something easier, faster, more collaborateive, better results. Use words that people can resonate with.

So, next time you’re rolling out a change, ask yourself: Are you just talking—or are you communicating?

References

Clear, J. (2018). Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones. Avery.