The Kind of Wisdom I Wish I Knew Earlier

Real-life cheat codes that make life (and leadership) better.

There’s a unique kind of wisdom that only shows up after you’ve lived a little.

Not the kind you earn from textbooks, conferences, or fancy titles, but the kind that comes from getting your hands dirty. From being in the room when it matters. From leading when things are uncertain. From learning the hard way what works—and what really doesn’t.

This is the kind of wisdom I wish someone had handed me earlier. But maybe it sticks better when you learn it yourself.

So, here it is. A reflection on some “real-life cheat codes”—lessons I now live by. If even one of these serves you, your team, or your community, then this post did its job.

Be Easy to Work With. Seriously.

This is probably the most underrated career (and life) skill.

People remember how you make them feel more than they remember your resume. I’ve seen incredibly talented professionals struggle to move forward because they were difficult to collaborate with. Ego, inflexibility, or just a lack of social awareness gets in the way.

But the folks who are easy to work with—who listen well, communicate clearly, meet deadlines, and show grace under pressure—they become indispensable.

Want to be charismatic? Don’t try to dominate the room. Be the person who makes others feel heard in the room.

Let Go of the Need to Impress

If I could go back and reclaim all the energy I wasted caring about what others thought of me, I’d probably have built three more businesses by now.

Here’s the truth: most people aren’t thinking about you nearly as much as you think they are.

There’s real freedom in learning to let go of constant people-pleasing. It creates space for clarity, for creativity, for rest. When you stop performing and start aligning with who you actually are, you lead better. You live better.

Practice Positive Gossip

This one’s simple, but powerful: speak well of people behind their backs.

This isn’t about being fake—it’s about choosing to build trust even when someone’s not around. I’ve seen entire team cultures shift when a few leaders made the decision to praise people in their absence. It creates psychological safety. It sends the message: “You’re safe here, even when you’re not here.”

Try it. Tell someone that you heard a compliment secondhand. Watch what it does to their confidence.

Invest in What You Use Every Day

We’re weird about money sometimes. We’ll spend $300 on a dinner out, but balk at spending that on a mattress we sleep on every night.

Here’s the rule: if you use it daily, it’s worth investing in—your shoes, your laptop, your chair, your tools, your skincare, your sleep.

This isn’t about being flashy. It’s about optimizing the inputs that affect your output.

As a leader, how can you help your team do the same? Where are they using subpar tools and burning out because of it?

Surround Yourself with the Right People

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Maybe it’s cliché, but it’s true.

If you’re trying to grow in a certain area—fitness, leadership, mindset—get around people who already embody your goal. Habits are contagious. So is energy.

Want to lead with calm? Spend time around calm people. Want to think more strategically? Get around people who challenge your assumptions without attacking your identity.

Environment eats willpower for breakfast.

Give Yourself (and Others) Artificial Deadlines

Work expands to fill the time we give it. So if everything feels like it’s dragging or you’re constantly behind, try setting fake, earlier deadlines.

When I started doing this, I was shocked by how much more present I felt. Deadlines help create structure, which helps create momentum. Momentum creates flow.

And flow is where your best work lives.

Bonus: this also reduces the fire-drill energy that often plagues teams and meetings.

Upgrade Your Language: Patience Over Apology

A small tweak, big impact: instead of saying, “Sorry I’m late,” try, “Thank you for your patience.”

It shifts the tone. It acknowledges others without self-deprecation. And it subtly signals confidence and gratitude—two qualities we can all use more of.

Leadership is often felt most in these tiny communication moments. Master the small stuff, and the big stuff gets easier.

Your Self-Talk Is a Permanent Roommate

We all have a voice in our head—and it’s not very kind for many people.

What if you treated that voice like a roommate you had to live with forever? Would you let it keep talking to you like that?

Learning positive self-talk isn’t fluff. It’s foundational. How we speak to ourselves shapes how we show up in our relationships, work, and resilience.

Be your own coach, not your own critic.

Build Habits So Easy You Can’t Fail

When it comes to habit-building, most people aim too high, too fast. Then they fail. Then they quit.

Instead, make the habit laughably easy. Want to start meditating? Try one minute a day. Want to get in shape? Start with five push-ups.

Success builds identity. Identity builds momentum.

Set the bar low. Just start.

Show Up Early (Not Just On Time)

Being 15 minutes early is a game-changer.

It reduces anxiety, creates space for preparation, and communicates respect. More than once, showing up early has given me a chance to connect with someone I otherwise wouldn’t have crossed paths with.

It’s not about being obsessive. It’s about being present before presence is required.

If You’re Stuck, Start—for 5 Minutes

Procrastination is often perfectionism in disguise. We tell ourselves we need the perfect conditions to start.

But action doesn’t come from motivation—it creates it.

If something feels overwhelming, commit to five focused minutes. Often, that’s enough to overcome the inertia. And if it’s not? You still did five minutes more than you would have otherwise.

Progress > perfection.

Start Skincare Early. Yes, Really.

This might seem trivial, but hear me out.

How you treat yourself physically often reflects how you value yourself mentally. A simple skincare routine isn’t about vanity but consistency, self-respect, and long-term thinking.

It’s easier to build good habits early than to reverse damage later.

And for the record, yes, this applies to men too.

Collect 1 Story-Worthy Moment a Day

Leadership is storytelling. And the best stories are personal, real, and specific.

That’s why I try to jot down one meaningful moment every day—something funny, insightful, or surprising. It builds a bank of reflections that I can draw from in meetings, keynotes, or one-on-ones.

You don’t need to be a writer to tell a great story. You need to start noticing them.

Support Your Friends Like a Grown-Up

If your friend owns a business, don’t ask for a discount.

Pay full price. Promote them. Show up. Tag them. Refer people. Invest in their vision the way you hope others will invest in yours.

In a world where everyone’s trying to get a deal, be the kind of friend who shows up to support. It goes further than you think.

Don’t Buy Things to Impress Strangers

This one’s simple. But hard.

Never buy things you can’t afford to impress people you don’t even know. It’s a trap that leads to stress, disconnection, and regret.

Define success on your own terms. Spend according to your values—not your vanity.

Move Your Body Daily—Especially These Parts

If you sit for long periods, your hip flexors and chest muscles are likely tight. That tightness pulls everything out of alignment—your posture, your energy, even your confidence.

Stretch them. Daily. It’s a small act with huge dividends.

And while you’re at it, breathe deeply. Your breath is your most underutilized leadership tool.

Want to Make Someone More Angry? Say This

It’s almost funny how effective this is: if you want someone to get angrier, tell them to “calm down.”

Of course, don’t actually do this.

Instead, de-escalate with curiosity. Ask questions. Validate emotion. Stay grounded.

Leadership in tense moments isn’t about control—it’s about regulation. Of yourself, and of the space you hold for others.

There’s a YouTube Tutorial for That

Before you ask someone how to do something, ask YouTube.

We live in a time when nearly any skill—from plumbing to Photoshop—is available at our fingertips. The most resourceful leaders I know are also the most curious.

Skill-stack relentlessly. Don’t wait for permission to learn.

Treat Each Day Like Four Quarters

This might be my favorite.

Think of your day as having four quarters: morning, midday, afternoon, and evening. Don’t write off the whole day if you mess up one quarter.

Just reset. Start the next quarter fresh.

It’s a mental model that’s helped me recover faster, stay more present, and give myself grace when things go sideways. Which they will. That’s life.

Final Thought

You don’t need to master all of these at once.

Just pick one. Implement it. Let it ripple out into your day, your team, your relationships.

The people you lead, love, and live beside don’t need a perfect version of you. They need the real, intentional, learning-as-you-go version of you.

That version is powerful.

And if you’ve learned something worth passing on—do it. These aren’t just cheat codes for your own success. They’re the kind of wisdom that multiplies when shared.

So, what’s one lesson you wish you knew earlier?

Drop it in the comments—I’d love to hear it.

Want more insights like this? Hit the 🔔 Follow button for leadership tools, coaching reflections, and stories from the frontlines of community and mentorship.

#Leadership #CareerGrowth #Mentorship #RealLifeWisdom #LifeAdvice