The Key To Well-Being Is Knowing Yourself

Do you know who you are? Truly…

Are you the person you are at work? Or the person you are in your social or family life? Are you the same person when you’re on your own?

Are you constantly developing several versions of yourself? Is the person you are dependent on whatever situation you find yourself in?

Are you the person you want to be, or the one you’ve been told to be?

Not quite sure yet? Nothing to worry about…

It takes a lot of introspection as well as going through a wide range of life experiences in order to get a sense of who we truly are. It’s extremely challenging to discover our core identity, and even more challenging to find the confidence to live a life aligned with who we really are, or who we want to be. 

Why bother spending a lot of time and energy trying to figure it out, you might ask? Well, who we are is the key to well-being, as it affects the choices we make in life, and how those choices make us feel.

Are your choices aligned with your true self?

We all make hundreds of choices every day. Some of those choices might be very significant, while others are less so. But in either case, those choices create the life that we live.

Each choice results in more of one thing and less of another, and hence it is the sum of all choices that creates our life experience.

But the real question here is – how do our choices make us feel? Choices that are aligned with who we really are tend to generate feelings of joy, fulfillment, and inspiration, while choices that are not aligned with our true self tend to make us feel tired, empty, and stressed out.

It follows that if you want to live a life filled with joy and well-being, you have to 1) know who you really are, and 2) aim for choices that are aligned with your true self.

What are your core values?

Who we are can be expressed in terms of values. Our values determine what we believe is good or not, and what is worthwhile pursuing. Some of these values are more superficial while others are deeper, and closer to our core.

For example, the positive effect of achieving financial success is a strong motivating force for most people. And yet there are many who report achieving financial success without experiencing lasting happiness and fulfillment as a result.

In other words, if we ignore our core values, it’s very difficult to achieve fundamental well-being, even if we are successful at a more superficial level.

Learn to be honest with yourself

Often there is a difference between what we think we want, and how we really feel about it. This is due to the fact that most of us grow up paying more attention to externally provided guidance and values, rather than learning to follow our own inner guidance.     

So in order to align our choices with our true self, we have to “unlearn” the value system we’ve been given, and instead learn to listen to the feelings that are providing guidance from our inner self.

The key to this is learning to be brutally honest with ourselves about how we feel at all times. Not an easy task for most, since we’ve grown up to ignore our feelings whenever they are not convenient, or when they are in conflict with our surroundings.

This is a very personal process, as you have to learn how to shut out all other voices that are constantly telling you how you should feel about things, and discover your own inner voice that tells you how you really feel.

Learning through trial and error

Sometimes it’s hard to know exactly how we feel about something before we’ve tried it. In that case, the only way to find out is by trying new paths and new experiences, while at the same time constantly monitoring our inner feeling response to the new experience.

The better we get at this, the easier it is to tell if we are on a path leading to more self-fulfillment, or not. As a result, course corrections are easier to make, and the road of life becomes simpler to navigate.

Take responsibility for your choices

Once you start following your inner guidance towards your own well-being, you can’t blame others for your choices anymore. And that’s a good thing.

If you are the one in charge of making good or bad life choices, that empowers you to create a better life at any moment. In other words, knowing yourself and taking responsibility for your choices has the power to set you free from any limitations.

Conclusion

It’s easy to lose touch with our core identity, and to follow a path of alienation that leads us far away from it.

But the great news is that we can change course at any time, by learning to listen to our inner voice, and thereby re-establish the connection with who we really are.

Getting to know yourself is the key to making choices that will increase your happiness and well-being, and thus it is probably one of the most beneficial things you can do for yourself.