Four Tips to More Intentional Communication

One of the things I am known for in my coaching (and parenting) is my focus on, and sensitivity to, language. Words have power, nuance, and connotations built into them. The words we choose can significantly impact our thoughts, feelings, and actions. Especially the words we use when talking to and about ourselves. Don’t let your words create a negative or limiting mindset.  

When I am listening, especially level three listening, (AKA Intuitive listening), I pick up on subtle clues based on the words they choose. I can often hear something in what they're not saying but the word choice is saying it for them.   

What I find is that sometimes people don't have the intention behind the words they say. It may not be a conscious choice, or they are not thinking thoughtfully about their words. But what happens is if you have something in your mind, if you have emotions in that you are feeling, the language you choose reflects it and then projects it.

Guess what, you’re not being subtle. You may not be obvious either. And as a result, people will interpret your communication potentially very differently than you intended.

Four tips to putting intention to your words: 

1. Choose Actionable Language: Focus on what you can do, not what you can't. What you will do, not what you won’t do. Use active verbs rather than passive language and you will even feel the momentum when you speak to them.  
2. Use Neutral or Positive Words: Avoid using words that are negative or judgmental. “Unfortunately,” doesn’t soften the blow, but rather braces someone for something much worse than the actuality often is.  
3. Own Your Words: Use "I" statements rather than “you” statements to take responsibility for your thoughts and feelings. Share your interpretation and perspective, when you do it projects confidence and competence.    
4. Be Mindful of Your Tone: The way you say something can convey as much as the words you choose. Remember, that edge in your voice is heard loud and clear. If there is an incongruence, people typically interpret things in the worst possible way. 

Words can leave a lasting impression. By being mindful of our language, we can cultivate a more positive and productive mindset and workplace. Remember, words have the power to both hurt and heal. Choose them wisely.  

Keep connecting,

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