Dont call them out, Call them up

In today's world, where so much of our interaction happens online, the way we communicate can really make or break our relationships.

One game-changing shift we can make is moving from "calling people out" to "calling them up."

It's about speaking to others in a way that lifts them up rather than tearing them down. By doing this, we can create better relationships, build more trust, and empower those around us.

So, What's the Difference?

When you "call someone out," you're usually pointing out their mistakes or flaws in a way that can be pretty embarrassing or shaming. Sure, there are times when people need to be held accountable, but this method often leads to defensiveness, resentment, and just plain bad vibes.

Good luck trying to keep them happy and coming back to work with you everyday.

On the flip side, "calling someone up" means addressing issues in a way that's supportive and constructive. It's about focusing on someone's potential for growth rather than their current shortcomings.

Why Positive Communication Rockss

There are some solid reasons why positive communication is the way to go:

1. Better Relationships: When you approach others with encouragement and support, it creates a positive atmosphere. People feel valued and respected, which naturally strengthens bonds. And they’ll like being around you.
2. More Trust: Trust is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. By "calling someone up," you're showing that you believe in their ability to improve. This builds a sense of security and trust, making people more likely to be open and honest. And they’ll like being around you.
3. Empowerment: Focusing on people's strengths rather than their weaknesses can be incredibly empowering. It helps them see their own potential and motivates them to strive for better. And…they’ll like being around you.

Sure, Ivan, but give me an example. Ok, here you go.

Let's say you're a manager, and one of your team members, Sarah, has missed deadlines. You could call her out in front of the team, saying, "Sarah, you've missed multiple deadlines this month. This is unacceptable and needs to change immediately."

Sure, this points out the issue, but it also publicly shames Sarah and could lead to embarrassment and resentment.

Or, you could choose to call Sarah up.

You could say, "Sarah, I've noticed you've been struggling with deadlines recently. I know you're capable of great work, and I'd like to understand what's been challenging for you so we can find a solution together."

This way, you acknowledge the problem but also show that you believe in her abilities and offer support.

See what I mean?

Other factors to consider:

1. Pick the Right Setting: Sensitive issues should be addressed privately to avoid public embarrassment.
2. Use Positive Language: Frame your feedback in a way that highlights the person's potential for improvement. Instead of focusing on what they did wrong, emphasize what they can do better.
3. Be Specific and Constructive: Give clear, actionable feedback rather than vague criticisms. This helps the person understand exactly what they need to work on.
4. Offer Support: Show that you're willing to help them improve. This could be through additional training, resources, or simply offering a listening ear.
5. Follow Up: Check in with the person after your initial conversation to see how they're progressing and offer further support if needed.

Alright, lets wrap up.

The way we communicate can either build bridges or create barriers.

So when we "call someone up" instead of "calling them out," we create a more positive, supportive environment that encourages growth, trust, and empowerment.

The next time you need to give feedback, think about how you can uplift and encourage rather than criticize and degrade. Your words have the power to inspire change and foster a culture of mutual respect and support.

And if you struggle with this, ask yourself…if you were being approached, which one of these two would you like?