ADDING TO A FULL JUG

In a very practical sense, for anyone to add something to an already full container is impossible. Either get a new container or take something out of the existing one. The jug on the left has room to fill the one on the right is full, no room left.

If I am going to equate a mind to a full jug of water or half full, the analogy will have all kinds of errors. For one, the mind is not limited as the volume of a jug. What is important to recognize is that we have a lot of junk in our heads. That junk interferes with growth and furthering enthusiasm. In many cases, it takes up space that can be used for more important information and thinking. In that light, our minds are like a full jug, and we need to displace that junk.

“The illiteracy of the future will not be the person who cannot read or write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.” Alvin Toffler. 

Recently, I heard someone say, “I am tired.” It was not sleepy tired, or emotionally tired, it was mentally tired. Your energy is directly equated to your mental faculties. Maintaining useless information and concepts take up energy, energy better spent of growth rather than holding on to antiquated concepts and thought patterns. Freeing up energy, I think this would it be a good thing.

Unlearning is difficult, and why? Let’s explore!

·      Learning is always a challenge. When someone accomplishes a certain level of proficiency it is an accomplishment, it feels great. It is very difficult for one’s ego to take what they have learned and evaluate it in the light of something new. Especially when that something new requires CHANGE. We tend to cling to the “familiar.”

·      For instance, in almost every profession there is requirement needed to be fulfilled each year; professional development hours (PDH). The rationale is that the world keeps spinning and things change, strategies changes, and techniques, equipment, new information comes available. PDHs is a way of forcing professionals to move toward furthering their knowledge base and being forced to adapt new ideas.

·      Imbedded here is a reluctance to learn new things, that is why it is a requirement. Those people who do not have those requirements, what do they do? Are they, so self-motivate as to force themselves to learn, and unlearn?  No way!

·      Unlearning means evaluating the treads that connect your entire belief system. All those things that give you security. Though security is an illusion, for we can never know everything, even in our specialty domain. Messing with our belief system is a monumental threat. Some circumstances placed on an individual like a death of a spouse, divorce, or being let go a job you thought was secure rattle our core. These things dig deep into the psyche and could challenge our belief system. It is difficult. One does not readily enter these circumstances voluntarily. 

Yet, circumstances like the ones mentioned above are also the elements that have the potential of bring about change that makes a person stronger, and more capable of enduring life’s surprises. 

The irony, we do not want to unlearn, but being forced into it opens the opportunity for growth?

How do we unlearn? 

We can become minimalist of the mind. If one knows that we are limited in our capacity to know, this understanding can liberate us from thinking that we need to know everything and hang on to those things that appear to make us feel good. 

It may be that the first realm to unlearning is our emotions. Our emotional reaction to practically everything influences our decisions and our reactions. Rare is the person that has total control over their emotions. Master-marketers know this; the key to influencing purchases are emotional in nature. Rationale come after to justify the decision. 

If we all had an emotional journal listing our emotions just before every major decision, we would see a pattern. If that pattern works for you, then good for you! It would mean that you would be one of the very few that mastered your emotions.

However, for most of us, emotions are a driving force that does not always work for to our advantage. 

Imagine viewing situations spontaneously with an objective realization rather that being emotionally driven. Is it ever possible?

Three cognizant steps would be needed to be taken. 

1.    Live up to your emotions. Validate that you have them and learn to appreciate them. Recognizing your “ups and downs” is to realize that you are alive. The wider the spectrum of emotional understanding, the more you will appreciate them. Hiding your emotions is like turning color off only leaving shades of gray.

2.    After validating that you are an emotional being, attempt to seek the reasons for your feelings. Often incidences bring about a reaction, but the cause is often associated correctly. We may be reacting to a secondary element not the obvious one. I believe that a major motivation for understanding this process of why you react gives rise to the third and most important step.

3.    Emotional reactions that are spontaneous could do harm, if not to others than to oneself. Mastering your emotions means to understand them, seek to know why you react the way you do. This is a learned discipline, and it is sorely needed by all. Sharing these steps with others can curb the spontaneous emotional explosions that we see occurring daily throughout society.  Step three; share your story and understanding of your own emotional journeys, the world needs it.

In one of my previous blogs, “Excellence.” I mentioned that this quality is not taught, nor is it even alluded to. It is learned from parents or mentors. It is one of those disciplines that requires dedicated and intentional effort. Unlearning is like excellence, it almost always needs to be learned from others.

Something as powerful as your emotions ought not be controlling you, but you to control them.

Attila Horvath, author

www.attilahorvath.com