7 Tips to Help Shift Your Negative Self-Talk

Most of us fall prey at times to debilitating negative self-talk. The effects of that negative messaging can show up insidiously in many different shapes and forms and frequently act as a barrier to success and happiness.

If self-criticism has become your auto-response, you have created a bad habit. The good news is - you can form another habit! Transforming negative thinking doesn't occur instantly but is possible. The concept of neuroplasticity says it is possible for us to make profound, fundamental changes in how our brains operate and build new neural pathways. All it takes is focused attention, practice, time and commitment!

Choose any of the tips below to shift your negative thinking.

TIP 1/ THOUGHT REPLACEMENT 

As soon as you notice a negative thought in your head, insert a positive thought about the same general subject that is TRUE. e.g. / "I am a terrible public speaker" thought might turn to "The content of my speech will be really helpful to people”; the "I screwed up the Introduction to the report" thought might switch to “My writing was thorough in the body of the report."  Better thoughts lead to better feelings, which lead to better action. Where thought goes, energy flows.

TIP 2/ SELF-ACCEPTANCE

If you focus on the belief that you are exactly where you ought to be at this very moment (no matter how messy or incomplete), you will be freed from the pressure of having to be "something else". Writer and researcher, Brené Brown, describes it as the journey from "What will people think" to "I am enough". You are more than enough - just the way you are. Take away the "shoulds", the musts, the comparisons, and the focus on lack or scarcity. You are enough. That is your new paradigm.

TIP 3/ FLIP YOUR FOCUS 

Focus your mental focus to where you want to go or who you want to be instead of focusing on what you don't want /or don't want to be and you will instantly flip from scarcity to possibility.  

TIP 4/ FEED YOURSELF

Make a practice of consistently nurturing a positive mental state to strengthen your new neural pathways. Remind yourself of your gifts and just how fabulous you are. Surround yourself with visual reminders. Perhaps write some positive reminders on sticky-notes and read them daily. "I am honest, I am loyal, I am creative, I have beautiful eyes" etc. 

TIP 5/ BE OTHER FOCUSED

When you are having negative thoughts about yourself, intentionally shift your thoughts and become "other-focused". Look outward and put your focus onto what you are grateful for.  Gratitude expands - the more you have, the more you have to be grateful for. Gratitude instantly takes your focus from scarcity to abundance.

TIP 6/ GET SUPPORT

Enroll trusted friends or colleagues to help you shift your thoughts. Have them remind you to "Flip Your Focus" when you start going down the mental rabbit-hole. Join a group (or create one) comprised of people trying to create something new and positive in their lives. 

TIP 7/ CELEBRATE 

Celebrate each time you reframe a negative thought. Even a small celebration or reward releases a shot of congratulatory dopamine, which reinforces the new behaviour and continues to strengthen your new positive neural pathways.