2020: A Year to Remember

It’s finally coming to a close – the longest year of our lives, 2020, is almost over. This last trip around the sun was more challenging than most. There really isn’t a single aspect of life over the past year that hasn’t been more difficult and complicated than what we had all come to expect as “normal” from our past experiences. Many of my friends, coworkers, and associates are ready to move on from the collective “dumpster fire” that was 2020, and I was as well – until a great mentor of mine forced me to recognize what a truly impactful year this was for me and my family.

“Dan,” he asked, “do you remember what you were doing this time last year? Could you have imagined you’d be where you are now?”

I remember where I was this time last year, physically and mentally. The holidays were a little bit difficult for me. I was unhappy in my job and quietly counting the days until I could separate from the Air Force – not because I lost faith in the mission, but because I didn’t see a path forward for myself. My frustration at work seeped into my home life, compounding the fact that I wasn’t satisfied with our living situation (renting an overpriced house in a neighborhood that wasn’t conducive to a good family life). All of this put a heavy strain on my marriage. 2019 had not been an easy year for my family, and I was hoping that 2020 would provide a fresh start for us.

What did 2020 provide? The brink of direct conflict with Iran, the untimely death of beloved basketball legend Kobe Bryant, political tension the likes of which many of us had never seen before, a global pandemic, lockdowns, civil unrest, protests, rioting, mounting racial tensions, celebrity scandals, friction surrounding the government and police, economic downturns, massive unemployment, and an unruly election cycle.

That, plus Murder Hornets and Tiger King. Did I miss anything?

I’m not here to argue that 2020 wasn’t a train wreck. It was. But when I sit back and reflect on what I discovered over the past year about myself, about my family, about leadership, about talent, and about having a higher purpose, I realize that 2020 was the most effective teacher I could have asked for. To put it plainly, 2020 humbled me and I’m grateful for that. The lessons I learned about myself, the world around me, and how I fit in it won’t soon be forgotten.

I had a fantastic opportunity during the height of the pandemic to serve an internship in an industry that I thought would lead to my dream job. I was incredibly excited and ready to prove myself. It took just a few weeks in the industry to realize that I wasn’t a good fit. The work I did wasn’t as meaningful as I thought it would be, I had nothing in common with the people I was working with, and peeking behind the curtain of a culture I was fascinated by revealed some less-than-encouraging truths. It was disappointing on some levels, but it was a valuable learning experience which helped me to re-chart my professional course. Lesson learned: even the most disappointing ventures are valuable if you gain knowledge and perspective from them.

My wife and I both willingly left stable jobs in the middle of a pandemic and rising unemployment rates. We both had promising job opportunities – even formal offers – that were revoked due to economic uncertainty and businesses restructuring. We didn’t decide to stay in occupations that we didn’t enjoy just because the odds were stacked against us in the private sector. We doubled down. We approached the situation with relentless tenacity. As a result of putting faith in ourselves and opening ourselves to coaching and guidance, we both secured jobs with fantastic companies that truly value our perspectives and experiences. Knowing what we know now, I can confidently say that we are much happier than we would have been if everything had gone according to plan. Lesson learned: the biggest trials will become the greatest triumphs if you power through them.

Over the course of quarantine and sweeping life changes, our marriage grew stronger and our trust in each other increased dramatically. We grew closer than we’d ever been, but also grew closer to others who share our values. We lost touch with some people we had been close with previously, mostly due to proximity or priorities. That’s okay – it’s part of life. In any case, we found ourselves with a deeper and more committed support system which helped us endure some massive challenges. In turn, we found great joy in providing mentorship for and sharing experiences with people we truly care about. Lesson learned: you don’t have to do it all by yourself.

In a year that will go down in history as one of the most tumultuous of our lifetime, I found that I failed repeatedly but did so productively. The most difficult situations are the best teachers because they force us to learn quickly and adapt effectively to survive. In a year that forced instability on us all, I was encouraged to find that humans possess an innate ability to react, respond, and learn even when they cannot anticipate. That realization is the greatest lesson that 2020 has taught me – the lessons worth learning are the tough ones, and as long as we fail forward, there is almost nothing that we can’t endure. We are better for our struggles.

I sincerely hope that 2021 is a more stable year than 2020. I pray that we find calmness, purpose, unity, health, progress, understanding, patience, and peace. However, much to my own surprise, I am grateful for having experienced 2020. Coming to that realization took some intense soul searching and a lot of self-reflection.

Any way you view it, 2020 was certainly a year to remember. How you remember it – and what you gain from it – is entirely up to you.