How do you resolve conflicts with external partners/customers?

1 Identify the problem

The first step to resolving a conflict is to identify the problem clearly and objectively. What are the facts, expectations, and goals of each party? What are the sources of disagreement or dissatisfaction? How does the conflict affect the project, the relationship, and the reputation of each party? Try to avoid making assumptions, blaming, or judging, and instead focus on understanding the perspectives and interests of each party.

2 Communicate effectively

The second step to resolving a conflict is to communicate effectively with the other party. This means choosing the right time, channel, and tone for your conversation. Avoid escalating the conflict by using aggressive, defensive, or sarcastic language, and instead use respectful, empathetic, and assertive language. Listen actively to the other party, acknowledge their feelings and concerns, and express your own feelings and concerns in a clear and honest way. Try to find common ground and areas of agreement, and avoid interrupting, criticizing, or dismissing the other party.

3 Generate and evaluate options

The third step to resolving a conflict is to generate and evaluate options for solving the problem. This means brainstorming possible solutions that can meet the needs and interests of both parties, and weighing the pros and cons of each option. Try to be creative, flexible, and open-minded, and avoid rejecting ideas prematurely or imposing your own preferences. Consider the feasibility, acceptability, and sustainability of each option, and how it aligns with the project objectives, the relationship goals, and the ethical standards of each party.

4 Negotiate and agree

The fourth step to resolving a conflict is to negotiate and agree on a solution that is mutually beneficial and satisfactory for both parties. This means finding a win-win outcome that balances the trade-offs and compromises of each party, and that addresses the root causes and consequences of the problem. Try to be cooperative, respectful, and fair, and avoid being competitive, manipulative, or coercive. Clarify the expectations, responsibilities, and timelines of each party, and confirm the agreement in writing.

5 Implement and follow up

The fifth step to resolving a conflict is to implement and follow up on the agreed solution. This means taking action to execute the solution according to the plan, and monitoring the results and feedback of each party. Try to be consistent, reliable, and transparent, and avoid changing, delaying, or reneging on your commitments. Communicate regularly with the other party, report on your progress and challenges, and seek and provide support as needed.

6 Learn and improve

The sixth step to resolving a conflict is to learn and improve from the experience. This means reflecting on what went well and what went wrong in the conflict resolution process, and identifying the lessons learned and the areas for improvement. Try to be humble, honest, and constructive, and avoid being arrogant, defensive, or complacent. Appreciate the other party's efforts and contributions, and express your gratitude and recognition. Apply the feedback and insights to your future decision-making and conflict resolution skills.

7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?