people have been so generous and so kind in the last 5 days, I’ve said the words “thank you” more than I can remember. thank you for the hot tea, thank you for stopping by to chat with us, thank you for your donations. thank you for the smiles, thank you for the loving glances, thank you for keeping us going.

as I heard stories from people who have actually been homeless, or have lived in a shelter, “thank you” began to mean something else. as I was able to feel what homeless people endured — even if it was only for 5 days in safer conditions — saying “thank you” took on a much greater meaning.

today, whenever I say thanks to people who are supporting us, I’m not saying it because they’ve given me something. I’m saying “thank you” on behalf of those who do not have a voice. when I say “thank you” today, I’m saying it for people that can’t speak because they’re too cold, too hungry, too tired or too miserable because they feel that everyone has given up on them.

so thank you. thank you for giving us a new perspective on life. and thank you for giving people in need something more valuable than hot tea, sandwiches or change.

thank you for giving them hope.

during the day, I can be seen at our site jamming on my guitar, generally in good spirits. everyone is so generous. it’s hard to feel down when people are beaming their love and support at you. you can’t help but smile, laugh and sing as you feed off their energy.

life at night is a completely different story. there are no smiles. it’s cold, dark and fatigue of the week catches up with you. it’s really the hardest part of this entire experience. everyone sees us during the day being happy, and I’m afraid that they’re getting the wrong impression that this is some kind of glorified camping trip.

we keep our sleeping bags in our council office and get them only when we need them. when we went to the office last night, we saw that the door to the building was fenced off and chained shut because of renovations. we couldn’t get in. at this point, we’re extremely tired from the week — Mike and I passed out in the library in the middle of writing our blogs — and now we were faced with the prospect of not having sleeping bags and warm gear for the night.

we decided that we should call campus police and get them to unlock one of the back doors so we could get our things. so we headed to an emergency phone and asked for help. they asked us for information and our location then told us that help would be soon on the way. ten minutes later, no one had arrived…which had me seriously worried.

that’s when it hit me that if I were actually homeless, no one would be watching out for me. we were standing there in a half-awake stupor, tired, shivering, and desperate for help, and no one came to our aid.

nobody sees the hardest parts.

one of the biggest revelations I’ve had this week is how when you’re homeless, everything is work.

going to the bathroom is work. you can’t just go down the hall. you have to leave your space and then go into a building and find a bathroom. extra difficult if you’ve got valuables in your space, or if its after-hours and buildings are locked.

going to sleep is work. you don’t just turn off the light and crawl into bed. you have to make sure you’re in a safe place, that you can be warm enough to last at least a few hours. extra difficult if it’s raining.

using your brain is work. I am physically exhausted. there were a few people who I felt were looking to debate us on our cause today, and I simply couldn’t muster coherent responses because I was so tired. later in the day, even normal conversations became dififcult. I can’t imagine going for a labour-intensive job, or doing a job interview in this state. even writing this blog is a huge challenge. since we’re still students while all this is happening, it makes the day-to-day so much harder. remember that we don’t have phones, organizers or alarm clocks to help us stay productive.

we are fortunate to have such a supportive and generous community that donates food, smiles and love to keep us going. I am starting to realize that this challenge would be incredibly different without the help of strangers.

1. strike a pose
I was a the site a lot today, watching over donations, making new signs and trying to stay visible. My picture was taken a lot of times, and it often felt like I was on the other side of the glass in a zoo. It’s a really strange feeling to know that people are staring at you when you’re napping, or even just sitting down drinking water.

2. guilt
I feel guilty sometimes. People at Guelph are so giving, so generous to give us food and drink to help us get through the day. I don’t know whether homeless people get that same love. I guess it’s much easier when you know that you’re giving to a student raising funds for a positive cause and not a random street person.

3. I might actually miss this
When this is over in a couple of days and I’m sleeping in a warm bed, I might actually miss this experience.

4. I have no right to complain
There’s a ton that we as participants have to deal with, but when you take a step back, we have ZERO right to bitch and moan. All we are doing is taking on a challenge to raise awareness. we are not actually homeless, we are in no danger of starving, we have campus police keeping an eye on us. We are facing only a fraction of the dangers that homeless people have to deal with.

5. smiles get me through
There are times in the day when I feel like a zombie. I haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep in a while. The best sleep I’ve had so far was when I passed out in the afternoon today, with the sun giving me the first warm bed I’ve had all week.

As the days wear on, I’m noticing that it’s much harder to string coherent sentences together. It absolutely brightens my day when a person I don’t know comes and chats with us. I’m hoping that whatever I’m saying is sensible conversation. The feeling I get whenever people smile at us or give us a nod of approval is beyond words. All the smiles, all the support, all the love we get makes this worth it.

I was fielding a lot of questions from passers-by and donators today. So far, the challenge is garnering a ton of positive attention, but I’m getting the feeling that some people are looking at it through a cynical and skeptical eye. Something along the lines of “you guys aren’t for real, this is all sensationalism, quit putting on a show”.

I hate sounding melodramatic, since 5D4TH participants have safeguards in place that shield us from many dangers. We can’t actually know what it’s really and truly like to be homeless, since at the end of all this, we have a home, we have a family, we have a warm bed to sleep in.

Having some of those debates with cynics has really challenged me to think about what I feel about 5D4TH. I am definitely, genuinely, truly doing this to give back to my community and to help those who haven’t been dealt the same cards I have. but admittedly, I am also doing this to raise awareness of my student council.

Walking around campus today, it’s obvious that this campaign is the subject of conversation. My hope is that people aren’t only talking about how four people are sleeping outside. I hope that 5 Days For The Homeless encourages them to examine and challenge their beliefs, just as it has caused me to look inward and think about my own.

People think we are nuts for taking this challenge on. I talked about 5D4TH in one of my classes today and I could see the look of “you are insane for willingly subjecting yourself to this” written on everyone’s faces.

Here is a list of what’s making this difficult for me:

• I have no idea what time it is: without my phone and organizer keeping me organized, I feel like my entire day is one long stretch of randomness
• I can’t get my own food: fortunately, people on campus have been amazing and generously donating food and drinks. but the idea of not being able to run into the caf (which is 30 seconds away from our site) is a humbling experience.
• Being constantly tired: I definitely didn’t get a good night’s sleep and don’t expect to for the next week. Right now, all I want to do is lie down and rest.
• Being looked at differently: I volunteer some time working in a career services department where I help people with their resumes, cover letters and interview skills. that means I’m dressed somewhat professionally most days. I’m not sure whether it’s just my own perceptions, but it feels like people are judging me differently when I walk around campus in my 5D4TH garb.

Having lived this experience for only a few hours, I can already sense the physical hardships that can get you down. Sleeping outdoors in the middle of winter sucks. Not being able to walk to a fridge to calm a growling stomach is not fun by any means. Having cardboard for a bed isn’t going to do anything for your lumbar either.

But I’m finding that it’s not so much the freezing fingers, the hunger pangs, the aching back that could really affect a homeless person. The participants of 5D4TH have an amazing safety net — this is an experiment that has a definite ending. Whenever I stop and think about the discomforts I’m sure to experience in the coming days, I can tell myself that it’ll be over soon. Having to do this for an indefinite amount of time would be physically challenging, but also take a huge psychological toll.

How do you think the definite ending of the challenge affects your perception of the experience?