people have been so generous and so kind in the last 5 days, I’ve said the words “thank you” more than I can remember. thank you for the hot tea, thank you for stopping by to chat with us, thank you for your donations. thank you for the smiles, thank you for the loving glances, thank you for keeping us going.

as I heard stories from people who have actually been homeless, or have lived in a shelter, “thank you” began to mean something else. as I was able to feel what homeless people endured — even if it was only for 5 days in safer conditions — saying “thank you” took on a much greater meaning.

today, whenever I say thanks to people who are supporting us, I’m not saying it because they’ve given me something. I’m saying “thank you” on behalf of those who do not have a voice. when I say “thank you” today, I’m saying it for people that can’t speak because they’re too cold, too hungry, too tired or too miserable because they feel that everyone has given up on them.

so thank you. thank you for giving us a new perspective on life. and thank you for giving people in need something more valuable than hot tea, sandwiches or change.

thank you for giving them hope.

Every Thursday night is pub night on our campus - so in order to diffuse any sort of drunken issue, we made sure to keep the bongos and geetar going all night.

Around midnight, we were sitting around with some friends who had stopped by to jam with us.  Out of nowhere, we hear someone yell “get a job!” and then we all heard an explosion of snow.  No one realized what had happened until I started to cry.  This insolent individual had hurled a snowball at us - and by snowball, I mean a huge chunk of ice; and the explosion of snow was from the ice smashing right onto my face.  It caught me so off guard that I whipped my neck back in response - for those of you who don’t know me - I broke my neck on May 26th 2007.  Months later, I am still recovering, and sudden movements like that not only hurt me, but they scare me.  The neck & face pain, coupled along the scare upset me (and all of us) a lot.  What hurt us even more is that someone on our very own campus was despicable enough to do such a thing. 

Laurier - I read that something similar happened to you guys - I am appalled that this sort of thing happened at both of our sites.  This type of behavior is uncalled for and so unwarranted.  It breaks my heart to know that some homeless people are harassed verbally and physically with no means of defending themselves. 

TM stopped by again yesterday afternoon and she chatted with me about the impression that the general public have of the homeless.  “They see a homeless person on the street and they think, ‘good, you deserve to be there because it’s your fault.  You screwed up in life and this is the lifestyle that you have made for yourself.  Get a job ya bum’.  But it’s not their fault.  There are SO many reasons as to why they got there.  They could have lost a family member, gotten an illness, gotten kicked out, fired, or gone bankrupt.  If people had the compassion to even stop and ask, they would understand.  Who would choose such a lifestyle anyway?”

I am almost in tears sitting at this computer.  That snowball represented to me just how much it hurts to be misunderstood.  To be ignored.  To be ridiculed.  No one should have to deal with this.  I am honestly overwhelmed.  This has been such an eye opening experience for me and for that I am truly thankful.  I hope to god that people like our shameful snow thrower will one day come to even a fraction of that realization.  In the mean time, I am banking on the laws of karma.  What goes around, comes around.

d. 

during the day, I can be seen at our site jamming on my guitar, generally in good spirits. everyone is so generous. it’s hard to feel down when people are beaming their love and support at you. you can’t help but smile, laugh and sing as you feed off their energy.

life at night is a completely different story. there are no smiles. it’s cold, dark and fatigue of the week catches up with you. it’s really the hardest part of this entire experience. everyone sees us during the day being happy, and I’m afraid that they’re getting the wrong impression that this is some kind of glorified camping trip.

we keep our sleeping bags in our council office and get them only when we need them. when we went to the office last night, we saw that the door to the building was fenced off and chained shut because of renovations. we couldn’t get in. at this point, we’re extremely tired from the week — Mike and I passed out in the library in the middle of writing our blogs — and now we were faced with the prospect of not having sleeping bags and warm gear for the night.

we decided that we should call campus police and get them to unlock one of the back doors so we could get our things. so we headed to an emergency phone and asked for help. they asked us for information and our location then told us that help would be soon on the way. ten minutes later, no one had arrived…which had me seriously worried.

that’s when it hit me that if I were actually homeless, no one would be watching out for me. we were standing there in a half-awake stupor, tired, shivering, and desperate for help, and no one came to our aid.

nobody sees the hardest parts.

The amount of continuous support that we are receiving from the Guelph community is absolutely astounding.  Everything from hot chili donations at 5am (Thanks to our Associate Dean) to random yells of encouragement.  While today was a physically hard day to endure, it was an enjoyable one.

Last night we were up till 4am trying to build a sheltered area with cardboard because it had begun to snow.  I was up by 9am and the day was filled with more geetar/bongo jamming and the donations were coming in strong.  We raised about $1000 today - phenomenal.

It’s going to rain tomorrow and I am secretary dreading it.  My clothes are already damp.   I was so uncomfortable today that I went to the bathroom in the library and dried all of my clothes with the hand dryer.  People looked at me as if I was insane.  I didn’t even care.   I can’t imagine being in these clothes for any longer.  Everyday I am appreciating aspects of my life that I have certainly taken for granted.  I have never wanted warm dry socks  so much.  I would give anything for a hot shower.  A good sleep.  Some deodorant even.

I want to make this blog longer, more detailed and more insightful.  Quite honestly, I cannot keep my eyes open.  Dave has fallen asleep at his computer and Mike actually fell off of his chair and is now passed out on the library ground.  I am jealous of their current resting status - however that really loud library alarm should be scaring all of us shortly…

Tomorrow (especially if it precipitates), I promise to come into the library during the day for a substantial amount of time to write a decent blog.

d.

To readers of our blogs - I am too tired tonight to post anything substantial. We raised almost $1000.00 today and I am exhausted.

Rest assured, profound stories will follow. Tomorrow.

one of the biggest revelations I’ve had this week is how when you’re homeless, everything is work.

going to the bathroom is work. you can’t just go down the hall. you have to leave your space and then go into a building and find a bathroom. extra difficult if you’ve got valuables in your space, or if its after-hours and buildings are locked.

going to sleep is work. you don’t just turn off the light and crawl into bed. you have to make sure you’re in a safe place, that you can be warm enough to last at least a few hours. extra difficult if it’s raining.

using your brain is work. I am physically exhausted. there were a few people who I felt were looking to debate us on our cause today, and I simply couldn’t muster coherent responses because I was so tired. later in the day, even normal conversations became dififcult. I can’t imagine going for a labour-intensive job, or doing a job interview in this state. even writing this blog is a huge challenge. since we’re still students while all this is happening, it makes the day-to-day so much harder. remember that we don’t have phones, organizers or alarm clocks to help us stay productive.

we are fortunate to have such a supportive and generous community that donates food, smiles and love to keep us going. I am starting to realize that this challenge would be incredibly different without the help of strangers.

I have been thinking alot.

Today, I had 7.5 hours of class, and a wine & cheese at President Summerlee’s house in recognition of faculty members nominated by student senators.  In between all of these commitments, I was our 5 Days site.

I layed half asleep on a bed of cardboard, snow and sleeping bags between 11am and 12pm, and thought about what I’m really doing, what’s really happening.  I started to make a few connections between where I am and what I’m doing this week to what I do every other week of the year.

When I’m not in class I’m at home.  When I eat I sit down at a table in my kitchen.  When at home the people I see most are my family.  Today I realized that we have quickly made our adventure this week our lifestyle, without even knowing it.  The cardboard is our home.  The boxes are our tables.  The corner of our snow patch is our kitchen.  Dian, Julien and Dave are like family.

We might not have a proper bed, or a proper fridge or a proper floor and ceiling - but we’ve created a homely environment, one that is welcoming enough to have hundreds of people generously visit, and one that makes all four of us feel like we have a place to go.  I doubt this is what homeless people truly feel and this experience is helping me to understand that in so many different ways.

The oddest thing happened last night.  At 3 o’clock in the morning we were woken up by an unknown man who was snapping pictures of us as we half-slept.  I thought I was dreaming when I woke up but shortly realised it was a dedicated reporter trying to get an authentic picture of us for the university newspaper.  It’s incredible how much of a buzz we’re getting around campus.  Dave received a standing ovation in class.  A random student dedicated most of her day to the cause by raising over a hundred dollars and spending plenty of time with us as we hung out in our makeshift living/dining/bed room.  I am so gracious and thankful for all the support, food and money given or donated to us but I can’t help to think how much harder it would be for a real homeless person.  The only thing keeping me going are the amazing people and the thought that we’ll be making a difference in someone’s life.   What keeps them going?

So I actually fell asleep last night - thank goodness. Right before bed, the boys and I were telling ghost stories - to all of you out there participating, this is not a good idea. This state increases your level of paranoia. So, anyway. we tell the ghost stories and fall asleep. Then at 3am, we hear yelling and sounds of someone running through the snow towards us. To be honest, I peed my pants a little bit. We all had no idea what was going on and who this random person was. It turned out to be a reporter from our school paper. He had come to take pictures of us while sleeping. While it was sneaky of him, and although he gave us quite the scare, he brought us food and has been a great supporter.

Then morning came. I hung around in my sleeping bag until about noon. Then my boyfriend came strolling down to donate some lunch. It wasn’t until I went to embrace him that I felt self conscious about my stench. He later confirmed that I stunk. Being smelly really makes you feel unapproachable and makes you want to alienate yourself from those who are clean (and will therefore judge you). This must certainly be an issue when looking for employment.

After lunch I had class. Hard to pay attention. Then I had a Senate Faculty Appreciation event hosted at our President’s house (on campus). This is a business casual sort of event - Mike and I are also both Senators - and we were both there stinking up the joint. Obviously, faculty and our fellow student senators were intrigued by what we’re doing and asked lots of questions. Then I had night class. 3 hours long. Ya, it was 3 hours of warmth, but it was also 3 hours of frustration due to lack of attention span and comprehension. This must also certainly be an issue with employment/education issues that keep those who are in a rut, in that rut. Lack of sleep and food make it really hard to do anything more than just lay there.

Then we lost Julien. Mike, Dave and I are so delusional that we were worried that he’d been attacked for the donation money. Then we found him. Everything is ok. Speaking of donations, Guelph rocked the house today. We had $418 in donated change. This also has a lot to do with our friend Karie Kwan. This angel is an eager beaver of a commerce student. She has been all over the campaign and has been doing classroom talks like it’s her j-o-b. Thanks KK for all of your dedication, enthusiasm and support. And thanks to everyone at Guelph for being so amazing!!!

Speaking of amazing, we got a super nice e-mail today from a member of our community. Here is what the e-mail said,

“Hey guys,

I am sitting in my warm bed now, and for the first time in my life I feel bad about it. I feel bad because I know there’s people out there, just like you now, that suffer from cold, hunger, and from the uncertainty of the next day.

I am proud of working on a campus that enjoys the presence of people like you!

Sending you lots of warmth,”

This blog is getting long and so I must go. The loud library buzzer just made all of us scream. It gets me every time.

d.

1. strike a pose
I was a the site a lot today, watching over donations, making new signs and trying to stay visible. My picture was taken a lot of times, and it often felt like I was on the other side of the glass in a zoo. It’s a really strange feeling to know that people are staring at you when you’re napping, or even just sitting down drinking water.

2. guilt
I feel guilty sometimes. People at Guelph are so giving, so generous to give us food and drink to help us get through the day. I don’t know whether homeless people get that same love. I guess it’s much easier when you know that you’re giving to a student raising funds for a positive cause and not a random street person.

3. I might actually miss this
When this is over in a couple of days and I’m sleeping in a warm bed, I might actually miss this experience.

4. I have no right to complain
There’s a ton that we as participants have to deal with, but when you take a step back, we have ZERO right to bitch and moan. All we are doing is taking on a challenge to raise awareness. we are not actually homeless, we are in no danger of starving, we have campus police keeping an eye on us. We are facing only a fraction of the dangers that homeless people have to deal with.

5. smiles get me through
There are times in the day when I feel like a zombie. I haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep in a while. The best sleep I’ve had so far was when I passed out in the afternoon today, with the sun giving me the first warm bed I’ve had all week.

As the days wear on, I’m noticing that it’s much harder to string coherent sentences together. It absolutely brightens my day when a person I don’t know comes and chats with us. I’m hoping that whatever I’m saying is sensible conversation. The feeling I get whenever people smile at us or give us a nod of approval is beyond words. All the smiles, all the support, all the love we get makes this worth it.